Not a morning person. . .

My sleep apnea makes me tired all of the time, but between 5am and 11am, I am at my worst. I am not a morning person. Coffee barely helps, but when it does, I make sure to get things done. (Especially when I have to do my chores and my mom’s chores, while she is down from her hernia surgery.)

  • Try to Get up
  • Make coffee
  • Make breakfast
  • Check meds
  • Clean dishes
  • Organize laundry
  • Cook lunch
  • Clean dishes
  • Take out trash
  • Banking
  • Pay bills
  • Shopping
  • Laundry
  • Cook dinner
  • Dishes
  • Make beds
  • Clean bathroom
  • Help mom out with medical stuff
  • Schedule doctor appointments
  • Fix broken phone
  • Take out trash again
  • Extra errands like get a new ID
  • Make coffee again
  • Find time for self
  • Try to sleep

Yes this sounds like a normal to-do list for someone, but it’s hard when I am fighting energy when I have multi-health issues.

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Analyzing Me with Eharmony

Why am I analyzing myself with the questionnaire questions and articles from Eharmony?

Note: for those who do not know Eharmony is a Christian online date site which uses many questions to figure out your just right partner if they have that person online too.

So why am I doing this (especially when I failed their questionaire twice and was kicked off the site once when I said I thought I was bi-curious.)

First, I I usually overanalyze most things and dating is not different. Some things I’ve overanalyzed, I’ve gotten right and other things I’ve learned from.

Second, I’m not doing this to date (yet), but I hope to learn more about myself. (If I find friends who get me or maybe Mr. Right-for-me, then awesome. I’m here to learn first.)

Third, I really love answering questions and talking surveys and quizzes about myself.

My mom used to tell that . . . “Opposite attract.” That might be right in science, but mom and dad were opposites and they didn’t last. (Its also probably why I argue with myself too. J/k lol.)

I think for partners, there needs some similarities and some differences to keep things interesting p. As long as they keep communication open and honest, that is what is most important.

I need to know myself and get my “stuff” together before I can get someone else involved in the chaotic fun that is me. Lol.

A Healthy Balance

My health is like balancing on a high wire. 

Yesterday I had low blood sugar spell. . . tired, sore, cranky. 

It was 72. I had a few sugar cubes and it went  up to 138 and 150. I work my best at 120. However I have no figured how to balance it just well yet. 

However I love my soda, chocolate, and coffee. 

Just don’t want my damn diabetes to destroy my love of food. 

What I Learned in 2017 

  1.  Life is short. ( My ex boyfriend/fiance died at age 36 from cancer within the first two weeks of January. Life is short so make the most of it.)
  2. You can never have too many friends. (It seems like they are harder to make and keep as we get older?.)
  3. Do not settle ( it does not bring happiness.)
  4. Its OK to vent and let it go. Once you let it go stop, complaining. Complaining can turn toxic. (Just remember this as you complain, it can always be worst!)
  5. Its OK to cry. (It helps the release. If you need to make excuse to cry, a chick flick and ice cream helps.)
  6. There are still “good” people out there. (Sometimes you need to get a bad person to appreciate the good people in your life.)
  7. People need to stop lying. (I am honest and I wanted to save feelings, but lying to someone is not worth it. Stop catfishing while you’re at it people. There are 7.6 million people in this world, I’m sure you’ll eventually find someone who likes you foir if you stop lying and complaining.)
  8. Anxiety and depression meds can change your personality. It is not for the good. (The good news it is usually temporary and you can go back to normal when the pills work through your system. If this happens, communicate openly with your doctors and be specific.) 
  9. Money is nice but is does buy happiness and does not make me feel secure. (my security blog Writing make me happy. Being with positive people makes me happy. Cooking and baking makes me happy.)
  10. I need to stop comparing my past to my future. (New and different adventures are awaiting for me.) 


    I hope 2018 is way better than 2017. I did learn a lot. 

    What I Learned in 2017 

    1.  Life is short. ( My ex boyfriend/fiance died at age 36 from cancer within the first two weeks of January. Life is short so make the most of it.)
    2. You can never have too many friends. (It seems like they are harder to make and keep as we get older?.)
    3. Do not settle ( it does not bring happiness.)
    4. Its OK to vent and let it go. Once you let it go stop, complaining. Complaining can turn toxic. (Just remember this as you complain, it can always be worst!)
    5. Its OK to cry. (It helps the release. If you need to make excuse to cry, a chick flick and ice cream helps.)
    6. There are still “good” people out there. (Sometimes you need to get a bad person to appreciate the good people in your life.)
    7. People need to stop lying. (I am honest and I wanted to save feelings, but lying to someone is not worth it. Stop catfishing while you’re at it people. There are 7.6 million people in this world, I’m sure you’ll eventually find someone who likes you foir if you stop lying and complaining.)
    8. Anxiety and depression meds can change your personality. It is not for the good. (The good news it is usually temporary and you can go back to normal when the pills work through your system. If this happens, communicate openly with your doctors and be specific.) 
    9. Money is nice but is does buy happiness and does not make me feel secure. (my security blog Writing make me happy. Being with positive people makes me happy. Cooking and baking makes me happy.)
    10. I need to stop comparing my past to my future. (New and different adventures are awaiting for me.) 


      I hope 2018 is way better than 2017. I did learn a lot. 

      Being on best behavior 

      When first dating, I was always told you in need to bring your best foot forward and be on your best behavior. 

      1. No burping on purpose. (Mouth closed and always say “Excuse me.”)
      2. I have to hold my farts. (It really hurts to hold it back. It makes the stomach upset. I try to get to the bathroom to release gas, but the whole damn thing is embarrassing.)
      3. No garlic or onion breath. (Always have gum or mints or candy )
      4. Don’t eat out of plate in yesterdays clothes with mismatched socks. (You know you have done it or a variation . Lol)
      5. Watch how much you cuss or yell at the tv with bad sports calls. (I was raised with brothers who enjoyed sports.
      6. Be polite (9 times out 10, I am polite) 
      7. No being moody or b*itchy (it is hard to hold back PMS if they are jerk.)
      8. Watch my weirdness and creativity (It can scare off “normal” people.) 
      9. Need to shave all of the right spots. (It feels nice, but is a lot of work.)
      10. Dress up. (I know that guys want me to dress up, but it is not me. Unless you have a extremely nice place to take me, then there is no point in me dressing up.)

      I am not sure if there is a guy worth all of this energy. I mean most of my best behavior isn’t really me. 

      I am honest and can be a rough on the edges, but I am best damn loyal girlfriend you’ll ever have

      Weekend plans

      I plan to play my brother’s ff rpg. (It’s a dice and fantasy game). 

      I also plan to cook, work on some blogs and short stories  (Not sure what genre yet). 

      I’m also watching catfish, I’m obsessed with that show. I do a lot of chatting and online flirting, so I’m always cautious. 
      I had a stressful day yesterday I had issues with insurance. I hope next week to get it worked out. Meanwhile I have to hold off on all my doctors and meds. I have some to hold me off, but it really freaked me out. 

      I’ve had a few people (besides family) who really helped me out yesterday and I’m very thankful for that. I’ve learned it’s one day at a time with my depression. Each day is a hill, and I got over yesterday. The weekend is hopefully just going to be relaxing.