Not a morning person. . .

My sleep apnea makes me tired all of the time, but between 5am and 11am, I am at my worst. I am not a morning person. Coffee barely helps, but when it does, I make sure to get things done. (Especially when I have to do my chores and my mom’s chores, while she is down from her hernia surgery.)

  • Try to Get up
  • Make coffee
  • Make breakfast
  • Check meds
  • Clean dishes
  • Organize laundry
  • Cook lunch
  • Clean dishes
  • Take out trash
  • Banking
  • Pay bills
  • Shopping
  • Laundry
  • Cook dinner
  • Dishes
  • Make beds
  • Clean bathroom
  • Help mom out with medical stuff
  • Schedule doctor appointments
  • Fix broken phone
  • Take out trash again
  • Extra errands like get a new ID
  • Make coffee again
  • Find time for self
  • Try to sleep

Yes this sounds like a normal to-do list for someone, but it’s hard when I am fighting energy when I have multi-health issues.

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Bad Habits Part 2

Bad Habits Part 1 heres the link from part 1.
I am a chaotic, unorganized emotional mess, but I can be fun, sometimes.

I’m far from perfect, but I feel the more I write, the more I learn about myself.

I worry alot (over thinking doesn’t help.) I hate being out of control. If I can’t control something, I over think, over worry and then bite my nails and over eating to try and calm myself down. It usually ends in a stomache or headache

I feel have to plan and be in control. I feel better when I plan. Even though 90% of the time, nothing goes as planned. I love outlining, but my muses and character usually run the story their own ways. I love to make lists: chores, menus, take out orders, errands, grocery, budgeting with bills etc.

I love food. I mentioned in this in part 1, but I forgot the worst part of this habit is that I eat late at night. We joke I’m a vampire. Lol. I watch food network, and I get hungry. We have trying to only watching the food network in the afternoon or during meals.

I feel I have to come with a warning. . . . I can snap at any second for any reason. My mood swings are crazy. I’ve tried talking to several doctors and therapists. The therapist push it to the doctors, and the doctors push it to the therapists. It’s been over two years, and I haven’t gotten past a second date.

I am not a bad person. In fact, I’m the most honest and loyal person, I know.

I’m trying to fix myself. (I’m work in process. Perfection is boring.)

I am working on my current weaknesses. . .

I hate to clean, but with the right energy and good cleaning products, I have cleaned a bathroom pretty good. My bedroom and a kitchen are two rooms I hate to clean. I hate bed making, it can never get flat or even; I tuck in one side and I pull out the other. (But I love clean fresh tide-smelling sheets.)

Clothes wise, I don’t like to sew, cannot stay in a straight line. I also hate ironing. (I don’t dress up, so I need to do either.) I will throw a damp towel in a dryer with my wrinkled clothes so I don’t have to use the iron. I love folding towels, but I hate folding shirts. I am just bad with the sleeves. I am not a fan of laundry. It usually stays in the washer until, I remember or look on my do-to list.

My sleep schedule (my sleep apnea makes thinks worst for me.) Makes a lot of thing hard for me . . . Working a 9 to 5 schedule, day schedule period, (I seem to have the most energy between 8pm to 2am), it’s harder to heal, and harder to control my moods. (I plan to get a cpap machine soon. I hope will get more energy during the day. Coffee and soda are my main sources of energy, right now.)

However I do NOT believe I am over honest or that I write too much.

So tired

Why am I so tired? Coffee only works sometimes, sigh!

Why don’t I have energy?

I wake up, eat, do some phone calls, take meds, and go back to bed. Sighs!

5 hour energy shots help as long as I drink enough. However the crash is hard!

I hate my sleep issues….apnea and anemia. Between the both, I feel I have permanent mono.

How can I get daily energy?

No Smoking Please

I posted no smoking on my personals. In fact, smoking partners is a deal breaker.

I do not want to kiss ashtrays.

The last guy I was with was a smoker, and I couldn’t kiss him when he come home from work.

Gum does not hide the smoky taste or smell.

I am lonely, but no enough to give up my sensitive lungs to a smoker.

I will not tell someone to stop their bad habit, because that leaves them to tell me to stop mine (saying I`m sorry for nothing, stalling, and soda. I’m sure there are others bad habits too. I’m not perfect.)

It’s crazy those since posting “I do not want smokers,” I`ve gotten replies from 6 different guys who all smoke. Either they didn’t read my profile or simply don’t care what or whom I want.

What does deal breaker mean, people? I means I do NOT want to date smokers. Please move on.

My body doesn’t like clocks

My sleep schedules are really off. . .

If I fall asleep between 7 pm and 9pm will be up by the latest 2am and my schedule is completely off.

Then I usually write 2am until 8 am and the light has known to give me migraines. Grrr.

However my body loves to sleep between the hours of 7am to 1pm (or if anyone wants to text me in the morning. )

If I get at least a good five to nine hours, I write well.

Ideally I would love to go to bed 3am and wake up by 10am and write 12pm to 5pm, but my muses have different ideas.

I try to find just a few hours for myself.

Can’t I just have six hours for out time and 18 hours of active time?

I’m usually tired all of the time.

I have to thank whom ever made caffeine my best friend. I love coffee and my Pepsi.

ZZZ’s

I do enjoy sleep when I have good dreams and the air is just right not too hot or too cold. The blanket is comfy and smells good. I wake up actually feeling refreshed.

This usually only happens maybe 1 time out every 50.

I usually wake up stiff, tired or exhausted (like I didn’t sleep at all). I’ve either hot, cold, in pain, with a headache. . . Or have to wake up due to my bladder or panic attack or choking with breathing problems.

Sometimes I can sleep for 12 hours and feel like I had not slept all. Sometimes I can run all day on four good hours of sleep, again, this is rare. My depression makes me want to sleep even more and not get out of bed.

I have sleep apnea where I do not get enough air in or out. I snore very loud, get dry mouth, grind my teeth, wake up with jaw pain, and headaches.

Apnea makes me wake up choking, my lips to be blue due to lack of oxygen, my head is foggy and it’s hard to focus, my eyes twitch, my eyes are heavy. I get migraines and my stomach don’t settle.

My animea makes me exhausted. I was so tired from the lack of blood cells that I have choked on my food several times.

Caffeine or lack of caffeine really screws me up. If I drink coffee or energy (no ginsing) at the wrong times and my day and night schedules are off.

My anxiety fills my head will ideas and I’m up with insomnia, but I am usually a zombie.

With all of these problems sleep is hard for me.

Writing in dark

I get inspiration, motivation, and energy at different times of the day.

Currently its been between the hours of 1am to 7am which is usually dark.

The last two days I’ve been fighting migraines because the glare of the tablet light on my eyes while I write.

Most people do not understand that migraines put me down. They make me nauseated and my eyes cannot work.

My eyes were so bad yesterday that I could feel my fever in my eyes.

I need to get my health in some kind of order.