“And I’ll cry if I want to. . .”
I’m just in a really debunk depression that I cannot get out of.
I hope to fake until I make it. . .
And that that I at least get to write.
My birthday is Wednesday and I know it sounds like a bad lifetime movie, but after the year I had, I wanted a boyfriend for my birthday.
However I met a guy just before Halloween, and it was nice and exciting at first. . .
But then I realize he was not the same guy. . . It was like he split personality. . . Fun Tigger, which as time went on I rarely saw and wanted to complaining Eeyore. I have my own issues of depression, anxiety, and pstd which I’ve been holding back because I been trying to help him, but whatever I say rarely matters, because once he stops complaining over one thing, he’ll easily find another.
We agreed to just be friends. I have this feeling his next thing he’ll complain on is my birthday. He was the one who promised me to take me and such. . . I never asked for it.
I’m just not looking forward to my birthday and it sucks.
I mean a nice dinner but with a complaining Eeyore, SIGH.
I know I have said this before, but I can make a seven course meal, clean the entire house, be on 4 hours of sleep, pay all of the bills, go shopping, and if I do not write something, I feel my day is unproductive.
I know a good meal, nice, and a clean place, feels good, but without writing, I just do not feel accomplished anything at all. (Http://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com)
I love food. (Yes, I am a bigger lady, and I am watching my weight for health. However I will not deny a new or fun food experience. )
I enjoy making food, cooking, baking, and going out. (When I got out, I usually try to order something, I usually I will not make at home.)
I’m always researching for my writing. I’ve learned from life experience as well.
I enjoy reading and finding out more about all kinds of things.
I am a very determined person. The loyal person. The type of person who would do whatever I had to.
I may be sweet or cranky doing it, it depends on how people treat me.
When first dating, I was always told you in need to bring your best foot forward and be on your best behavior.
I am not sure if there is a guy worth all of this energy. I mean most of my best behavior isn’t really me.
I am honest and can be a rough on the edges, but I am best damn loyal girlfriend you’ll ever have.
19 random FACTS about yourself that may surprise people.
1. Do you make your bed everyday? No
2. What’s your favorite number? 13
3. What is your dream job? I’m trying to do it, haven’t gotten paid yet.
4. If you could, would you go back to school? Maybe
5. Can you parallel park? I can operate a car, but I get freaked out with other cars on the road.
6. A job you had which people would be shocked that you once held? I got paid to keep quiet once, I gave them a refund. Lol
7. Do you think aliens are real? They may be, I have no personal evidence
8. Can you drive a stick shift? Kind of
9. Guilty pleasure? Chocolate, flavored coffee, bubble baths, and soda
10. Tattoos? Not yet, considering
11. Favorite color? Purple, black, silver, and crimson.
12. Things people do that drive you insane? Dressing up pets
13. Phobia/fear? Pregnancy, getting in a car accident, and ending up homeless
14. Favorite childhood game? Life
16. Do you like doing puzzles? Yes like tetris
17. Favorite Music? Rock and pop
18. Tea or Coffee? Coffee
19. First thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? Singer
40 interesting things about me.
1. Do you like blue cheese? No
2. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi
3. Do you own a gun? No
4. What flavor Kool-aid? Fruit punch
5. What do you think of hot dogs? Best on grill
6. Favorite TV show? Big bang theory, Dharma and Greg, 2 broke girls, and criminal minds
7. Favorite movie? Forest Gump, interview with a vampire, beetljuice
8. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee
9. Can you do a push up? If I have to.
10. Favorite piece of of jewelry? I don’t wear any.
11. Do you have a hobby? Writing and cooking
12. Do you have A.D.D. ? No
13. Do you wear glasses? Yes –
14. Favorite cartoon character? Tom and Jerry, tigger
15. Three things I did yesterday? Chatted, wrote a scene in my novel, and cooked.
16. Three drinks you drink regularly? Coffee, Pepsi, hot tea
17. Current worries? That I am never going to find someone I have a true connection with
18. Current dislikes? stupid people, lairs, and cat/dog haters
19. Favorite place to go? I currently don’t have a real place, but I love the secret place in my head.
20. How did you bring in the new year? In the hospital supporting my dying ex
21. Where would you like to go? England, Scotland, Ireland, France, Italy, and Solvika
22. Name five people who will do this? I have no idea.
23. Childhood hero? Anne Rice
24. Favorite color? Purple, black, silver, and crimson
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets ? I like the idea
26. Can you whistle? Yes
27. Where are you now? home
28. Would you be a pirate? No
29. Favorite food? Italian
30. Favorite time of the day? Night
31. 3 wishes? Enough money, I will never worry over bills, completely furnished house, and success with my writing
32. What are you thinking right now? I should get some sleep.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Someone trying to hit on me
34. Favorite animal? Cats
35. What’s your most current injury? Cat scratch from kitten I rescued.
36. How many tv’s are in your house? 2
37. Worst pain ever? Migraine and my cramps
38. Do you like to dance? Only when no one is looking
39. Are your parents still alive? Yes
40. Do you love life? Pieces and moments
I can rant and go on and on, but my brain still will not stop. This has caused me insomnia and . ..
I’ve tried. . . .
I’m still up 5 out 7 nights a week with my everlasting thoughts.
This what my head is like . . .
My ideal day would be
8:30 Wakes up after hitting snooze twice. Get breakfast with coffee
9:00 Works out on indoor bike
9:45 Lotion, priming body
10:00 Checking email, research and notes or outlines for writing or errands
12:30 writing my blogs, novels
4:30 make dinner, or errands
6:30 have dinner and clean up.
7:00 Be with family or boyfriend before bed, TV, games etc
11:30 Research, read, and relax before bed, maybe a bath
1:30 go to bed.