Be careful what you wish for

I was with a guy who is now my ex. We were together off and on for eight years. We had our good moments and a our bad. The last year was bad . . . I had extreme depression and anxiety which I am still working on. He was paying more attention to my friends than me. . . and slept with them both.

 

Then I wanted Karma to get him back to have him feel the way I did. . . cold, depressed, and alone.

I never wanted him to get sick. Please take my lesson and be careful what you wish for.

 

Now I do not think he can see his new girlfriend and she can’t see him, so maybe Karma gave me my wish. . . However I do not feel better about it.

 

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Night of Living Links. . .

More links to blogs of me. . .

A little more about me. . .

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/secrets-vs-privacy/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/this-is-who-i-am-in-a-nut-shell/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/what-i-think-of-me/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/who-i-am-the-harsh-truth/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/10/14/a-few-surveys/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/another-survey/

 

My Addictions With pictures

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/common-addiction/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/my-therapeutic-addiction/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/09/28/my-favorite-20-foods-that-i-make-at-home/

 

Health issues including Anxiety and Depression

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/04/17/shadow-on-the-sunny-side-of-the-street/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/is-there-hope/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/health-issues/

 

Drama and distraction (I guess, to be honest, they are one in the same with me.)

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/tapped-out/

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/slowly-fading-away/

 

My Heaven

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/levels-of-heaven/

 

My Hell

https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/my-ten-levels-of-hell/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Closing Notes (Ex Edition)

I gave you eight years of my life, and you repay me with abandonment and heartache. I have two words for you . . . F*** YOU!

I’ve learned some things. . .

 

A poem

I have not written poetry in a while. Maybe I will start again. . .

This for someone very special.

My Written Angel. . .

He walks within

The typed

With the sweetest words

Just for us

To see. . .

Even in pain

He is there for me

Why?

How?

Do I deserve. . .

A gentle soul?

He is hidden

Within the words

 

© 2016 Rebekah Quinne

Things I have learned in 2015

I have been through a lot in 2015, and I’ve decided that it is in the past.

However I have learned A few things this past year. . .

  1. Be careful in whom you trust.
  2. Family will always be there for me!
  3. It is okay to take care of me. And put myself first especially with health issues.
  4. I am not as diabetic as I thought I was; however, that doesn’t mean I can’t start now to prevent it. Diet and exercise!
  5. There are many fish in the sea.
  6. I cannot pretend to be who I am.
  7. I should Never settle—I am worth more than that! My happiness is important!
  8. Be careful what/ who you wish for… it may not be the thing you want.
  9. Sleep is a good thing.
  10. You can overcome depression get upland take one day at a time.

I just want 2016 to be better and brighter than 2015. I believe that good people and things are yet to come.

5 Minute Rant: Facing my past

I will give myself these things called 5 minute rants. . . I will time myself for 5 minutes and I will go on about everything and anything. . . I will try to stay within topic.

Today’s topic. . .

Getting over my past. . .

Here is the thing. . .  I saw my ex & my ex best friend from high school having sex. I walked in on them. I refuse to keep it a secret! So I lost a friend of 17 years and a boyfriend of 8 years, sucks huh? Anyway I’ve had nightmares, and there are moments where I feel lonely; they have both moved on as if nothing happened. I want to move on as well.
However, I am not sure if I am ready to date. . . my step mom said “give it a year.”  I don’t know if I want to wait a year. I heard about giving its month for each year you were together so that would put me in April. Why does he have to move on while I sulk lonely? Where is the fucking fairness in that?

 

Do I move on or be lonely?  Should I skip an opportunity if I am not ready? I’m so confused.

All I know is that 2016 is going to be for me!

Me and my unicorn part 1

I don’t think that I am ready for my unicorn yet, but by some billion chance I run into him, I do not want to let him go. I just wish I had some thing out there to tell me that if he really exist or am I searching for a mythological needle in the theological haystack.

I have been trying to process my break up since September. I do not want give him all of my baggage. However if he is my unicorn he would help me through my baggage.

Me

I am hopeful, generous, and perky. I like to help others, and I am a people pleaser. This allows me to get easily taken advantage of. . .
I want to cook and bake for my guy.
I want to dress up for him.
I want to dance with him.
I am fun, sweet, and kind.
I want him to get my corny sense of humor.
I want to feel secure with him.
I want to be able to take care of each other.
I am very empathetic. I have very strong emotions; I try my best to control them.
I am determined.
I am a kid at heart, but I know when to be serious.
I try to sociable, and I am very close to my family.
I believe in the truth. (If my ass is too big or I have something in my teeth, I want to know.)
I love to laugh. (If you can get me to laugh, then you know I will be okay.)
I want to always be my own person, (I am finally figuring out who that is.)
I always want to have butterflies in my belly whenever I see him.
I want to feel the world stop and that everything is okay when he touches me.

Him

I want someone who is positive and loves what they do.
I want him to look at me like I am the only woman in the room.
I want him to make me laugh.
I want him not to care that I am not that sophisticated.
I want him sentimental and plan surprises.
I want him to be committed to me, mature, but still be a kid at heart.
I want him to hold me, kiss me, and whisper sweet nothing is my ear.
I want someone who is as generous, hopeful, and perky as I am.
I want someone who will accept me, but by doing so allows me to change into a better person.
I him to know I have a few health issues I am working on and that I am trying to get better. . . I want him to be patient with me. (It’s worth the wait!)
I want to learn from them and have them learn from me.
I want someone who understands friends are important. (I want more of an extrovert than introvert.)
I want him to say “thank you.”
I want someone who sees his family more than just holidays.
I want someone who is honest and can handle honesty.
I want him to cook for me at least once at week or at least help me clean up the kitchen.
I want him to give me time for my writing and understand how much it means to me.
I want someone who is my friend.
I want someone who rather take me out than stay home playing a damn video game.
I just want someone who gets me.

Does he really exist or have I been watching too many romance movies?