Confession #2

I was born, raise and lived within a 20 mile triangle radius my whole life. I would love to get money and travel all over.

There are so many places I want to go to. . . Canada, Italy, France, England, Scotland, Japan, Australia, DisneyWorld,  L.A. more cruises. . .

I want a book deal for my entire book series (at least eight books) and travel with a book and lecture tour

When do I get to see the world?

I look like my mom, I act like my dad and I have the same name as my stepmom. . . who am I?

I know about 9 times out of 10 when I say I am ok, I’m not. It’s my robotic go to saying. . .

I usually have at least 10 things in my head that I am constantly worried about. . . The thing is I have no control over them which just makes me anxious even more.

I wish I could just let them go. . . and focus on what I can control. (I might actually sleep well at night.)

I have never been able to play it “cool.” I always worry, and I know I always will. (I feel like if I don’t care, who will? This makes me feel like I have the world over my head or on my shoulders.)

The thing is it seems like everyone has has a life. . . is doing something while I sit here and wait for them and get hurt by thinking too much. Why should I put the world on my shoulders? Why should I care when they are living a life without me?

I’m sick of waiting around and I am sick getting hurt. I need to move on.

I wish I could Change. . .
I would make myself 80 pounds light.

I want to fix my teeth (lots of issues).

I want to be “cooler,” and not take things so seriously.

I want to just let things be and go with the flow.

I wish I was less whiny, distracted, and obsessed with things.

 

I think so people take life way too seriously. I think I am one of them. . . I want to joke around and laugh more. . . I want to stop worrying. I just want to chill and be.

How can I take life less seriously?

6 Complete Random Things

Random things about me. . .

  1. I love my jeans and leggings, but I will dress up on occasion. However you better be taking me out some place nice. And take a lot of pictures. . . dressing up makes me uncomfortable.
  2. I do not to wear a shirt when I do the dishes. I do not like to get that line of water on my shirt.
    I also like when I can to play my music, dance in the kitchen, when no one sees. (Did I just type that? LOL)
  3. I like to make to-do lists

To-Do List This Weekend. . .

Clean out totes. . .

  1. Organize writings
  2. Go through diaries.
  3. Throw out what I do not need.
  4. Go through Books

Sweep basement

Clean Kitty Litter

Feed Cats

Organize picture on my computer

Organize Flash Drive

Create Extra back ups

Work on diary

Draw and color for a while

Work on Blogs

  1. Writing Blog (3 entries)
  2. Webseries D. W. a G.
  3. Personal blog

Eat Lunch

Take meds

Dishes

Talk to my sweetie

4. Everyone says I am so trusting. . . I am honest, in fact I am so blunt that most people learn of this and avoid me. They want some real, and I am as real as they come. However 75% of this world cannot handle the truth. I would have to say that on 90% cannot handle me. I do not believe in lying, it just gets everyone upset.

5. I have weird dreams. . . I had a dream of my bottom teeth falling out and crumbling. (It usually has to relate to anxiety and worry.)

6. I really do not use a cell phone much. I appreciate the numbers . . . the text me messages, but I do not have a cell phone on me at the moment. I have a younger brother who I let borrow my cheap-A** phone for emergencies. 9 times out of 10, I am with someone with one.

What to do? What to do?

To-Do List This Weekend. . .

Clean out totes. . .

  1. Organize writings
  2. Go through diaries.
  3. Throw out what I do not need.
  4. Go through Books

Sweep Basement

Clean Kitty Litter

Feed Cats

Organize picture on my computer

Organize Flash Drive

Create Extra back ups

Work on diary

Draw and color for a while

Work on Blogs

  1. Writing Blog (3 entries)
  2. Webseries D. W. a G.
  3. Personal blog

Eat Lunch

Take meds

Dishes

Talk to my sweetie