2017 things I want. . .

It’s been ten years and I have noticed a lot of thing have changed in who I am and what I want.

This is my list from 2007

 

2007 in THINGS I HAVE WANTED TO DO (INNOCENT AND GUILTY):

  • Have my own place.
  • Have my own car. (Note: Paid and manage by me. Not a hand me down.)

(How can I have my own car when I freak out behind the wheel?)

  • Have a “rainy day” stash of money
  • Buy something I can wear that’s designer

(Really? I’ve never gone after something designer. In fact, I cannot stand dressing up and heels.)

  • Have sex outside

(I have a list on my naughty blog. I really do not like outside, especially with my sinuses.)

  • Wake up to a guy kissing me
  • Have a guy spoil me with nothing sexual in return
  • Be romanced (Candle light, bath, flowers dancing etc.)
  • Tickle and cuddle with a guy without sexual tension
  • Continued to be romanced

(I never believed that I deserved to be romanced and swept off my feet, but with Tom had a few really nice moments.)

  • Write another stage play
  • Finish at least 3 out of 10 of my scripts within the year
  • Publish at least one novel under my own

(11 to 13, I’m still working on my writing, but I have learned that it is a process.)

  • Publish a book of poetry It’s now smash words
  • Manage a credit card for one year and keep good credit
  • Fine a guy who fits my personality (someone who can put up with me) (RIP Tom)
  • Have someone throw me a surprise party (preferably on my Birthday) (Worst wish ever)
  • Go to Disney World or Land with my boyfriend (before marriage or kids of my own, so I can still act like a kid.)
  • Get the guts to sky dive
  • Sky dive

(19 & 20 I’m not sure what I was thinking when making this list, but not common sense.)

  • Have a friendship with a guy and have it turn into a relationship without it ruining the friendship
  • Get my scripts put on the “big screen”
  • Have a guy who looks attractive like me for me
  • Learn patience
  • Learn independence

(23 & 24 I’ve learned I need people in my life and I am not a patient person and I do not want to be. Why would I ask for that?)

  • To bake for my boyfriend (For Health reasons.)
  • To go on birth control
  • Not to have kids until I’m at least 29
  • Find a guy my age for an activity partner: Movies, music, darts, bowling, putt-putt
  • To score at least 200 in a game of bowling

(Now that is a laugh. I have bowled probably like 5 times in the last ten years, unless you count wii bowling and I have over 200 with wii bowling.)

  • To find a guy who will take care of me when I’m sick
  • Learn self-control
  • Learn self-discipline
  • Learn self-motivation
  • Be financially secure

(32 to 35 I just want to be able to be constant with my writing and eventually make a profit with my written artwork.)

 

2017 What I want now

 

  1. No kids, I want at least two cats
  2. Poly house
  3. To make money on my writings
  4. To finish and publish my writings
  5. To have my own agent and editor
  6. To have my own place with a nice kitchen and my own office
  7. I want to be able t dine out at least once a week
  8. Once I get a guy, I want a constant date per week.
  9. Indoor picnic
  10. More cuddling
  11. Breakfast in bed
  12. More massages
  13. More hours of soaking in the tub
  14. To know my mom and brother are taken care of
  15. Constant encouragement

 

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Deal Breakers

Deal breakers

  • Cat Haters 
  • Smokers
  • Kids
  • Extreme pain
  • Abusive tempers
  • And biggest one liars 

 

I cannot handle liars and the Internet is full of them. 

Doms pretending to be a sub so they wrestle another dom for a power struggle. . . It’s like a secret turn on to them. 

Catfishing pretending to be someone else. . . Fake pics, fake facts, why are you doing this?

Saying you’re single when you have a girlfriend or wife and kids.  (I’M seeking a submissive boyfriend, I want your entire attention. I will not be second rate or just a play toy.)

 

If you are any of those, please leave me alone

 

Confession #2

I was born, raise and lived within a 20 mile triangle radius my whole life. I would love to get money and travel all over.

There are so many places I want to go to. . . Canada, Italy, France, England, Scotland, Japan, Australia, DisneyWorld,  L.A. more cruises. . .

I want a book deal for my entire book series (at least eight books) and travel with a book and lecture tour

When do I get to see the world?

I look like my mom, I act like my dad and I have the same name as my stepmom. . . who am I?

I know about 9 times out of 10 when I say I am ok, I’m not. It’s my robotic go to saying. . .

I usually have at least 10 things in my head that I am constantly worried about. . . The thing is I have no control over them which just makes me anxious even more.

I wish I could just let them go. . . and focus on what I can control. (I might actually sleep well at night.)

I have never been able to play it “cool.” I always worry, and I know I always will. (I feel like if I don’t care, who will? This makes me feel like I have the world over my head or on my shoulders.)

The thing is it seems like everyone has has a life. . . is doing something while I sit here and wait for them and get hurt by thinking too much. Why should I put the world on my shoulders? Why should I care when they are living a life without me?

I’m sick of waiting around and I am sick getting hurt. I need to move on.

I wish I could Change. . .
I would make myself 80 pounds light.

I want to fix my teeth (lots of issues).

I want to be “cooler,” and not take things so seriously.

I want to just let things be and go with the flow.

I wish I was less whiny, distracted, and obsessed with things.

 

I think so people take life way too seriously. I think I am one of them. . . I want to joke around and laugh more. . . I want to stop worrying. I just want to chill and be.

How can I take life less seriously?

6 Complete Random Things

Random things about me. . .

  1. I love my jeans and leggings, but I will dress up on occasion. However you better be taking me out some place nice. And take a lot of pictures. . . dressing up makes me uncomfortable.
  2. I do not to wear a shirt when I do the dishes. I do not like to get that line of water on my shirt.
    I also like when I can to play my music, dance in the kitchen, when no one sees. (Did I just type that? LOL)
  3. I like to make to-do lists

To-Do List This Weekend. . .

Clean out totes. . .

  1. Organize writings
  2. Go through diaries.
  3. Throw out what I do not need.
  4. Go through Books

Sweep basement

Clean Kitty Litter

Feed Cats

Organize picture on my computer

Organize Flash Drive

Create Extra back ups

Work on diary

Draw and color for a while

Work on Blogs

  1. Writing Blog (3 entries)
  2. Webseries D. W. a G.
  3. Personal blog

Eat Lunch

Take meds

Dishes

Talk to my sweetie

4. Everyone says I am so trusting. . . I am honest, in fact I am so blunt that most people learn of this and avoid me. They want some real, and I am as real as they come. However 75% of this world cannot handle the truth. I would have to say that on 90% cannot handle me. I do not believe in lying, it just gets everyone upset.

5. I have weird dreams. . . I had a dream of my bottom teeth falling out and crumbling. (It usually has to relate to anxiety and worry.)

6. I really do not use a cell phone much. I appreciate the numbers . . . the text me messages, but I do not have a cell phone on me at the moment. I have a younger brother who I let borrow my cheap-A** phone for emergencies. 9 times out of 10, I am with someone with one.

What to do? What to do?

To-Do List This Weekend. . .

Clean out totes. . .

  1. Organize writings
  2. Go through diaries.
  3. Throw out what I do not need.
  4. Go through Books

Sweep Basement

Clean Kitty Litter

Feed Cats

Organize picture on my computer

Organize Flash Drive

Create Extra back ups

Work on diary

Draw and color for a while

Work on Blogs

  1. Writing Blog (3 entries)
  2. Webseries D. W. a G.
  3. Personal blog

Eat Lunch

Take meds

Dishes

Talk to my sweetie