I know at four doctors I need to schedule in. . . Maybe four if I need a specialist for my hands. ( They keep swelling, and my joints hurt. It hurts sometimes to hold a pen or fork.)
I’m doing camp Nano but I’m only giving myself a word count of 30,000 for my main goal. It’s only 1k per day. I thinkmi can type that. I did 35,000 both last August and November. I how to write a book of short stories. I talk more about it in my writers blog. . . Rebekah Quinne
I also hope to walk at least three times a week. I want to get in better shape and get more energy. I’m hoping to sleep better from it and get more focus.
The thing is I’m doing this for me. I’ve learned that I need to focus on myself and heal myself before I can help others.
After my semi vanilla relations, (Oct to Dec (2017)) . . . I’ve learned I cannot not go vanilla, but I do want to date and cuddle.
I want a positive, ambitious submissive boyfriend. (I do not want a mindless drone or a complainer.)
However I’m slowly learning that life or fate will never put you in the wrong spot. I learned I need to let life do it’s thing. I should not push because I feel desperately lonely.
I’ve learned life will put in me in the right place, at the right time, even if I’m confused in the present.
I just need to do my thing and Mr. Right will be there when I probably least expect it.
Meanwhile I should enjoy my life: good writing, good family, and good friends.
I just to realize I will find that genuine people that I’m into, but they are not into me. I’m not everyone’s favorite soda-pop or cup of tea.
I simply need to move on and focus and believe life knows what it is doing.
Things I’ve been up to. . .
- I went out three times this week, which was nice. However I’m exhausted and it’s the weekend, grrr.
- I worked on a release book. . . For my depression, anxiety, ptsd and spiritual so I can let go things and move on. . . I feel lighter and I’ve been sleeping better.
- I’ve made several friends which is nice.
- I’ve been trying to organize my writing.
- I’m also trying to figure out why computer cord keeps buzzing: I think it’s a mixture of a bad cord and broke fan either way I need to take it to a computer guy.
- My hands have swollen from writing so much. I think it’s carpal tunnel syndrome. . . Because water pills don’t always help and there is pain too. Bummer, huh?
- I have finished draft one of my thriller novella trilogy “Driving Lies.” I know I keep bragging, but it’s a project that about 150,000 words give or take divided into three parts that started as a corny thriller script I wrote as a teenager because I needed more action in my life.
- I’ve cooked a lot with the slow cooker.
I’ve been busy. I always try to stay busy.
My love of music is a blessing and a curse. . . It depends on the song and my mood.
I can either take on the world or cry hiding in a hole. . . Depending on how the song pushed my emotions. It could make me laugh or haunt me with a bitter memory of my past.
Music is always something I go to no matter emotion I feel. It is expressive for me and I can make a play list for anytime in my life. Sometime a song just says the words, that I cannot get out of my head.
I was originally a music major in college. I found out that I had inner ear problem on my right ear and it made it hard to play one thing and sing another. I changed my major because of my ear, so music is a bittersweet thing for me.
Things in My basket for a bad day
- Self care basket
- Chocolate brownies or cake
- Coffee with flavored creamers
- Dial shower gel (I love the feel and smell.)
- Color pens
- A book with a good twist
- Movies: comedies and chick flicks
- My tablet with my personal play list (music)
I’m writing Short Stories.
I put my feelings in each one. These are flash fiction but very personal. In the last few year my heart and soul shattered, each of these pieces are my a piece of shattered heart and soul.
I hope to find myself and piece myself together.
I’m posting them on my Short Story blog. . .
Rebekah Quinne Short Stories
Between PTSD and depression, I have not been happy.
I’ve tried sims, cooking and the rest of my content list. . .
1. Listening to music
2. Comfortably writing for hours
3. Soda pop
6. Getting out or dinning out
7. Talking to friends
9. Watching funny TV
10. Going to the movies
I just can’t get or find happiness. Why?
Tom got me into so many things vampires, ghost, Paganism, and new age. His book shelf was full of these catorgies.
I love how we used to read together.
We both studied and celebrated Paganism and exploring the dark spiritual realm.
Tom would get excited over whatever I made whether it was grilled cheese with tomato soup or super chocolate cake. He loved my desserts. . .
I made him a five layer cake for one birthday.
I made my own fontant.
This was the leftover Halloween candy cake.
My family recipe pineapple upside down cake.