My self-care basket

Things in My basket for a bad day

  • Self care basket
  • Chocolate brownies or cake
  • Pretzels
  • Pepsi
  • Coffee with flavored creamers
  • Dial shower gel (I love the feel and smell.)
  • Notebooks
  • Color pens
  • A book with a good twist
  • Pillows
  • Movies: comedies and chick flicks
  • My tablet with my personal play list (music)
  • Headset


Ironic this writing assignment is over a week late to deadline (anniversary of Toms death January 13th.) The irony is that it was usually Tom nagging me, pushing me to finish my writing on time. Another ironic thing is Interview with a Vampire is playing in the background. Tom’s favorite movie.

Tom’s Dream Funeral

I lived with Tom for 8 years. . . I like to believe you get to know someone really well in 8 years.

As lovely and simple as the real funeral was . . . it was not what Tom would have wanted. He told first of all, he wanted to be biodiamonds. He wanted to be made into jewelry for those closest to him. I would have requested a ring for my middle finger on right hand. The right hand is my dominant and he taught me to say “fuck it” sometimes.

I think it would be in the woods with candles, latter’s and huge bonfire. We have a fake body in which we burn while celebrating him moving into a different realm. We drink, eat, listen to his favorite classic rock music. We sit around the fire and tell stories of him.

What I miss the most, I’ll never find anyone as passionate as he was. He bold, daring, loud, and rambunctious. There was rarely a dull moment with him. Whether it was him yelling at TV over wrestling or football or passionate reciting Lestat quotes from Anne Rice.

I also think I never got to appreciate the way he should have been. He taught me so much about love, hope, dreams, support, and passionate. I hope he knows he will always be remembered for his liveliness.

my prayers

Who I really am. 

  • ​I am a writer.

I know I have said this before, but I can make a seven course meal, clean the entire house, be on 4 hours of sleep, pay all of the bills, go shopping, and if I do not write something, I feel my day is unproductive. 

I know a good meal, nice, and a clean place, feels good, but without writing, I just do not feel accomplished anything at all. (Http://

  • I am a foodie.

I love food. (Yes, I am a bigger lady, and I am watching my weight for health. However I will not deny a new or fun food experience. )

 I enjoy making food, cooking, baking, and going out. (When I got out, I usually try to order something, I usually I will not make at home.)

  • I am always learning.

I’m always researching for my writing. I’ve learned from life experience as well. 

I enjoy reading and finding out more about all kinds of things.

  • I am a bear. (Or a bulldog whatever is cuter.)

I am a very determined person. The loyal person. The type of person who would do whatever I had to.

 I may be sweet or cranky doing it, it depends on how people treat me. 

My Current Soundtrack

My Current Soundtrack.

These songs mean something to me at the moment.

  1. “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks or “Crazy Bitch” by Buck Cherry (For my many mood swings)
  2. “Counting Stars” By One Republic (I am still hoping for my dreams.)
  3. “Unwell” By Matchbox 20 (Self-explanatory)
  4. “Demons” By Imagine Dragon (Fighting my temptation and depression in monster and demon form)
  5. “Monster” by Imagine Dragons and “Monster” by Rhainna (I’m either fighting the monsters or hanging with them.)
  6. “I’ll Be there” (Free Willy) by Michael Jackson (The world expects me to be a super hero.)
  7. “Infected” by Repo! Genetic Opera (I feel like my sinuses and health kick my ass)
  8. “S&M” by Beyonce (I’m a dominant, sensual Mistress.)
  9. “Things I wouldn’t Say” by Avril Lavgine (If you knew me, why would I have to say them.)
  10. “Freak The Freak out” by Victorious (I’m always freaking out nothing)
  11. “Take a Hint” by Victorious (Too many guys just do not get it, I am not interested. Do you match my blog, if not then why bother?)
  12. “Weird” By Hanson (I never seek normal).
  13. “Desperado” by The Eagles (I love singing this songs, and sometimes I think I will ended up alone.)


Honorable mentions

  1. “Complicated” Avril Lavgine
  2. “The Thunder Rolls” Garth Brooks
  3. “Still Haven’t Found what I’m Looking For” by U2
  4. “Beautiful” By Christina Aguilera
  5. “Zombie” By The Cranberries
  6. “Created a Monster” By B.o.B.
  7. “Titanium” by


Music is divided to me in different moods.


Love Songs

  1. “Just as You Are” by Bruno Mars
  2. “Haven’t Met You Yet” by Michael Buble
  3. “Dream of Me” by Kirsten Dunst
  4. “Love Song” The Wedding Singer by Adam Sandler
  5. “Say You Won’t let me go” James Arthur
  6. “A Thousand Years” Christina Perri
  7. “Let Her go” Passenger
  8. “Collide” Howie day
  9. “Never Let Go” Hanson
  10. “Dance with me Tonight” by Olly Murs


Happy or Encouraging Songs

  1. “Titantium”
  2. “This Time Around” by Hanson
  3. “Shake it Off” Taylor Swift
  4. “Wake Me Up” by Avicii
  5. “Happy” by
  6. “I Like to Move It” by
  7. “Cha Cha Slide” by Casper
  8. “Paralyzer” by Finger Eleven
  9. “Rock Star” Nickelback
  10. “Shine in a Bag” By Gorillaz Or “Pocket of Sunshine” by Natasha Bedingfield

Inspiration Songs

  1. “Cups” (Pitch Perfect) by Anna
  2. “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons
  3. “Drift Away” by Bob Seger
  4. “You’ve got a Friend” James Taylor
  5. “I’ll be There” (Free Willy) by Michael Jackson
  6. “Imagine” by Mercy Me
  7. “I’m Sensitive” “Life Uncommon,” or “Angel” by Jewel
  8. “Need” by Jonathan Jackson
  9. “You Rise Me Up”by Josh Gorban
  10. “Shameless” by Garth Brooks or Billy Joel

Sad Songs

  1. “Angel” Sarah McLachlan
  2. “Without You” Mariah Carey
  3. “The Rose” By Bett Mittler
  4. “Desperado” The Eagles
  5. “Chasing Cars” Snow Patrol
  6. “My Heart Will Go On” Céline Dion
  7. “I don’t want to miss a thing” Aerosmith
  8. “Bridge of Trouble Waters” Simon and Garfunkel

Angry Songs

  1. “Bad Things” by Wednesday 13
  2. “Fuck the World” By ICP
  3. “Down with the Sickness” By Disturbed
  4. “Don’t Get Mad, get Even” By Aerosmith
  5. “Enter Sandman” By Metallica
  6. “Zombie” By Cranberries
  7. “Crazy Bitch” Buck Cherry
  8. “Fuck the Pain Away” Peaches
  9. 2w




My Favorite Celebrities

My Current Favorite Male Celebrities


  1. Jamie Dornan                                                             (Actor/Model)
  2. Marcel Vigneron                (TV Chef)
  3. James O’Halloran                (price is right model)
  4. Gabriel Mann                (director, actor)
  5. Jonathan Brandis (director, actor, writer, RIP)
  6. Taylor Hanson (Musician, actor)
  7. Zak Bagans (Ghost Adventures host)
  8. Robin Williams (Actor, comedian, RIP)
  9. Nicolas Cage (Actor, producer)
  10. Kevin Love (Basketball player)


Honorable Mentions

  1. Jensen Ackles (Actor, director, musician)
  2. Jared Palacki (Actor)
  3. Ryan Gosling (Actor, musician)
  4. Neil Patrick Harris (Actor, musician)
  5. Paul Walker (Actor, RIP)
  6. Health Ledger (Actor, RIP)
  7. Jeese Spencer (actor)
  8. Nev Schulman (Catfish host)
  9. Wayne Brandy (Host, actor, musician)
  10. The Rock (WWE wrestler, actor)
  11. Michael Simon (host,   American Iron chef)
  12. Hugh Laurie (Actor, musician)
  13. Jack Black (Actor, musician)
  14. Stephen King (Author, actor)
  15. Tom Hanks (producer, actor)

Just because they are not on this list, there are a many male celebrities I would star struck with if I met them.


My Current favorite Female celebrities.


I am more drawn to men, so that is why this list is shorter. Hollywood makes women seek so picky, b*tchy and fake to me. The ones that make the list seem very real to me.

  1. Kat Dennings (Actress)
  2. Alex Guarnaschelli (Host, American Iron Chef)
  3. Anne Rice (Author)
  4. Kate Winslet (Actress)
  5. Rachel Ray (Host, chef)
  6. L. James (Author)
  7. Emma Stone (Actress, Musician)
  8. Kari Byron (Sciencist, Co Host Myth Busters)
  9. Katy Perry (Musicians)
  10. Emily VanCamp (Actress)


Honorable mentions

  1. Cat Cora (American Iron Chef)
  2. Kirsten Dunst (Model/Actress)
  3. Taylor Swift (Musician)
  4. Carla (Host, chef)
  5. Shannon Woodard (Actress)
  6. Angelina Jolie (Actress, producer)

My Top Favorite Movies and Shows

My All-time favorite movies

(If I had only to choose ten movies to watch over and over again. . .)

  1. Forest Gump (Drama)
  2. Interview with a Vampire (Horror)
  3. Beetlejuice (Comedy)
  4. The Notebook (Chick flick)
  5. The Fight Club (action, guy movie)
  6. Shriek if you know what I did last Friday the 13th (Comedy)
  7. The Crow (Horror)
  8. Sixth Sense (Horror)
  9. Dead Pool (Action)
  10. Star Wars Episode 3 (SciFi and Action)


Honorable mentions

  1. Titanic (Chick Flick, Drama)
  2. Repo! The Genetic Opera (Horror, Musical)
  3. Up (Animated)
  4. Shrek (Animated)
  5. Gone in 60 Second (Older version) (Action)
  6. Little Mermaid (Animated)
  7. Avenger movies (Action)
  8. Ironman movies (Action)
  9. Central intelligence (Comedy)
  10. Money Pit (Comedy)
  11. Bucket List (Drama)
  12. Transylvania(animated) (animated)
  13. Fast and the Furious movies (action)
  14. Wall-E (animated)
  15. Butterfly Effect/Donnie Darko (Suspense)


Current favorite TV Shows


  1. Big Bang Theory                                              (Sitcom)
  2. Guy’s Grocery Games (Cooking)
  3. Catfish (Reality)
  4. 2 Broke Girls (Sitcom)
  5. The Middle (Sitcom)
  6. Girl Meets World (Sitcom)
  7. Rising Hope (Sitcom)
  8. Criminal Minds (Drama)
  9. The Simpsons (animated)
  10. Chopped                                                                                                          (Cooking)


Honorable Mentions

  1. American Horror Story (Suspense)
  2. Myth Busters (reality)
  3. Ghost Adventures (Suspense)
  4. Dharma and Greg (Sitcom)
  5. 1000 Ways to die (Suspense)
  6. Supernatural (Seasons 1-8) (Suspense)
  7. Smallville (Drama)
  8. Family Guy (Animated)
  9. Haven (Suspense)
  10. The Chew (Cooking)
  11. Angie Tribecca                                                                                                           (Sitcom)
  12. 3 Strooges (Black and White) (Sitcom)
  13. Haunted or My Haunted House (Suspense)
  14. Two and half men (Sitcom)
  15. Cooks VS Cons or Beat Bobby Flay (Cooking)

Therapy: temporary distraction 

My brain needs to stop for a while. . . So I’ll need temporary distractions.

  • Online window shopping (my amazon app and put things on my wish list)
  • Candy crush soda saga
  • Music (genre depends on my mood)
  • Adult coloring 
  • Blogging (Any topic like this one)
  • Chatting (Maybe some roleplay)
  • Movies ( preferably comedy or horror)
  • Go take a walk  (Yes even at night,  but not by myself )
  • Read 

I just need to have some fun. 

I want an original idea

Stop already with the remakes of movies and the old shows trying to come back. 

Why are we doing remakes of these movies?

  • It
  • The Shinning 
  • Carrie
  • Flatliners 

Do those shows have to come BACK?

  • Roseanne
  • King of Queens  (under a different name)
  • Will and Grace

    Give me an original idea

    We need movies like

    • Forest Gump 
    • Sixth sense
    • Beetlejuice 

    I like the shows. . .

    •  the Cabin
    •  the Middle
    •  Big Bang Theory
    •  2 Broke Girls
    • Catfish
    • Izombie
    •  Angie Tribeca. 

    They all have their own uniqueness to them.

    I feel like Hollywood is going to the recycle bin. 

    We didn’t need three CSI or a bunch of Law and Orders. 

    How do I get over him? 

    I feel like the Gain laundry soap commercial.  . . “How do I get over her? She left month ago!”

    It’s been 8 months (Tom’s, my ex, birthday month). I’ll be honest, he crushed me. However the shattered pieces of my heart still have memories and extreme emotion on them. (I need emotional cleansing. The thing was if he was still alive, I would have not gotten back with him. We are two different people.)

    I feel bad he died young. (He would have been 37 on the 17th.) 

    However all of these things we would have really enjoyed are popping up everywhere.

    • He was a “Dark Tower” fan.
    • True Blood writers made a new show Midnight, Texas. 
    • WWE has a new tap wrestling game.

    I know there is more. I can’t think right now. How am I supposed get over when I’m around all of the things he likes?

    Things That Make Me Happy

    Things that make me happy

    1. Getting an a long e-mail
    2. Baking
    3. Cooking
    4. Good Sex with lots of foreplay
    5. Hours of unbothered writing
    6. Writing 10,000 words in a day
    7. Finishing (reading) a good book
    8. A story with a good twist
    9. Not being able to predict something
    10. Soda-pop
    11. Going out
    12. Helping others
    13. Making others happy
    14. Cats
    15. Cuddling with someone nice during a movie
    16. Kissing and making out
    17. Getting actual mail: letters and package
    18. Bubble bath
    19. Having energy
    20. A nice walk
    21. Lots of pillows and comfy bed
    22. Good night sleep
    23. Talking all night
    24. Going to the zoo
    25. Sailing
    26. Swimming
    27. Good Morning Greeting
    28. Spooning: I like the inner spoon
    29. Flirting
    30. A good tone male hairless chest
    31. A fit six pack ab
    32. Bright blue or blue-green eyes
    33. A nice smile
    34. Hair on the a guy’s head that I can run my hand through
    35. A night of card or board games with friends