19 Unknown things about me

19 random FACTS about yourself that may surprise people.
1. Do you make your bed everyday? No

2. What’s your favorite​ number? 13

3. What is your dream job? I’m trying to do it, haven’t gotten paid yet. 

4. If you could, would you go back to school? Maybe

5. Can you parallel park? I can operate a car, but I get freaked out with other cars on the road. 

6. A job you had which people would be shocked that you once held? I got paid to keep quiet once, I gave them a refund. Lol

7. Do you think aliens are real? They may be, I have no personal evidence 

8. Can you drive a stick shift? Kind of 

9. Guilty pleasure? Chocolate, flavored coffee, bubble baths, and soda

10. Tattoos? Not yet, considering

11. Favorite color? Purple, black, silver, and crimson.

12. Things people do that drive you insane? Dressing up pets

13. Phobia/fear? Pregnancy, getting in a car accident, and ending up homeless

14. Favorite childhood game? Life

16. Do you like doing puzzles? Yes like tetris 

17. Favorite Music? Rock and pop

18. Tea or Coffee? Coffee

19. First thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? Singer

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40 things about me

​40 interesting things about me.

1. Do you like blue cheese? No

2. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

3. Do you own a gun? No

4. What flavor Kool-aid? Fruit punch

5. What do you think of hot dogs? Best on grill

6. Favorite TV show? Big bang theory, Dharma and Greg, 2 broke girls, and criminal minds

7. Favorite movie? Forest Gump, interview with a vampire, beetljuice

8. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee 

9. Can you do a push up? If I have to. 

10. Favorite piece of of jewelry? I don’t wear any. 

11. Do you have a hobby? Writing and cooking

12. Do you have A.D.D. ? No

13. Do you wear glasses? Yes –

14. Favorite cartoon character? Tom and Jerry, tigger

15. Three things I did yesterday? Chatted, wrote a scene in my novel, and cooked. 

16. Three drinks you drink regularly? Coffee, Pepsi, hot tea

17. Current worries? That I am never going to find someone I have a true connection with 

18. Current dislikes? stupid people, lairs, and cat/dog haters

19. Favorite place to go? I currently don’t have a real place, but I love the secret place in my head. 

20. How did you bring in the new year? In the hospital supporting my dying ex

21. Where would you like to go? England, Scotland, Ireland, France, Italy, and Solvika

22. Name five people who will do this? I have no idea. 

23. Childhood hero? Anne Rice

24. Favorite color? Purple, black, silver, and crimson

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets ? I like the idea

26. Can you whistle? Yes

27. Where are you now? home 

28. Would you be a pirate? No

29. Favorite food? Italian

30. Favorite time of the day? Night

31. 3 wishes? Enough money, I will never worry over bills, completely furnished house, and success with my writing

32. What are you thinking right now? I should get some sleep. 

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Someone trying to hit on me

34. Favorite animal? Cats 

35. What’s your most current injury? Cat scratch from kitten I rescued. 

36. How many tv’s are in your house? 2

37. Worst pain ever? Migraine and my cramps

38. Do you like to dance? Only when no one is looking

39. Are your parents still alive? Yes

40. Do you love life? Pieces and moments

November all for me. 

I am not a selfish person, but next month is all about me. I am working on my writing and hopefully myself. 

My goal is in 2018 to move forward and away from my past.

I have two projects. . .  (Each project is 50,000 in 30 days)

  1. Finishing the The Broken Path 50,000 plus. 
  2. Working on the ghost stories for the Broken Path.

    I hope to figure myself out and do something for me, write. 

    My brain will not stop 

    I can rant and go on and on, but my brain still will not stop. This has caused me insomnia and . .. 

     I’ve tried. . . .

    1. breathing exercises, in 1-2-3 and out 1-2-3
    2. Turning off the TV
    3. Mediating 
    4. Music
    5. Cutting down on my caffeine after 4

    I’m still up 5 out 7 nights a week with my everlasting thoughts. 

    Average thoughts

    1. Health issues, when will I get fixed
    2. Why do my hormones keep making me a b*tch?
    3. Food issues is there ever enough
    4. Why do I feel so useless? I do help with errands, and cooking
    5. Writing scheduling
    6. Errand scheduling
    7. Sleep issues and why I cannot sleep when I supposed to. 
    8. Depression
    9. Guys vs what I want 
    10. Hope’s and dreams vs depression

    This what my head is like . . . 

    Therapy: temporary distraction 

    My brain needs to stop for a while. . . So I’ll need temporary distractions.

    • Online window shopping (my amazon app and put things on my wish list)
    • Candy crush soda saga
    • Music (genre depends on my mood)
    • Adult coloring 
    • Blogging (Any topic like this one)
    • Chatting (Maybe some roleplay)
    • Movies ( preferably comedy or horror)
    • Go take a walk  (Yes even at night,  but not by myself )
    • Read 

    I just need to have some fun. 

    Therapy: time and over thinking = worry

    I’ve learned that when you make me wait, and I can’t sleep, then I think. That is a very bad idea.  Well, it’s great while I’m working on a book,  but not good when I am worried about what is going on in real life. 

    It’s like the reason why a kid will check the bed or closet after watching a scary movie. It’s the same creative and yet over active and mentally dangerous imagination that gets sucked into regular thought and mixed with anxiety making careless worry. I am constantly worrying: over nothing and everything

    I’m not sure how to stop it. Lately, my anxiety is extremely high over having too much time to think. My sleep schedule is completely off, so most of the time I’m too tired to write. (Even now I’m yawning.) Basic thoughts get twisted into unneeded and unwanted traumatic, dramatic nightmares that make me freak out over nothing that is really happening.  

    For example, when someone stops talking to me for a few days. . . 

    • I instantly think they are in accident stuck in the hospital or out with their girlfriend that they never told me about. 
    • When the truth is they were working and doing errands. They gave some space because I was sick. (When I want to sleep give me 6 to 8 hours, not 48 to 72 hours.)

    I’ve tried to release my worries, but I just want to find a way to calm my thoughts. Maybe a movie or color.  

    Deal Breakers

    Deal breakers

    • Cat Haters 
    • Smokers
    • Kids
    • Extreme pain
    • Abusive tempers
    • And biggest one liars 

     

    I cannot handle liars and the Internet is full of them. 

    Doms pretending to be a sub so they wrestle another dom for a power struggle. . . It’s like a secret turn on to them. 

    Catfishing pretending to be someone else. . . Fake pics, fake facts, why are you doing this?

    Saying you’re single when you have a girlfriend or wife and kids.  (I’M seeking a submissive boyfriend, I want your entire attention. I will not be second rate or just a play toy.)

     

    If you are any of those, please leave me alone

     

    Chatting games

    I try not to play the “hard to get” chatting games. 

    I’m trying to be more open in the dating pool, but I know what I want and yet the doors are current closed. 

    So I chat, but then guy gets aggressive even at my polite pushing away. 

    • “I’m not into your interests.
    • “I need to go to bed”
    • “We don’t live close, I’m seeking someone local. “
    • “I do not want just a chat, I want a real life relationship.”

     If I tell exactly how I see it, I sound like a b*tch

    • “I see us talking online, but then you will lie or be aggressive about something you really want and make me uncomfortable.” (Pusher)
    • “You’ll talk to me try to get pic and get off or I say no and you go on the the next easy chatter. You won’t chat again or if you do you ask for more pics.” (Pic weasel because the term I want to use is not nice)
    • “We chat for a few days, until either one say that is deal breaker ” (delayed dealbreaker I ask my deal breaking issues on chat 1.)
    • Chat, one date,  no call (fearful brats)

      I want a text, chat to continue after the first date, and then second and a third date etc. 

      If I don’t think we are going to be at least friends, then why are we even chatting? 

      Depression strikes again. 

      I’m exhausted. Sleep only happens in single cycles of 3 hours maybe more, here and there.

      I’ve had nightmares, panic attacks and depression fighting me all weekend. 

      Nightmares of being abandoned and lost and confused.  (My chest is getting tight just thinking of it.)

      Past coming back to literally haunt me, but migraines beating me instead. Past on hold. 

      Chest heavy, breathing hard, panic catching in my throat. 

      Stomach turns, food comes from helping hands, but doesn’t help.  

      That is my weekend. I did manage to get to write pieces here and there. There is a light.