Things in My basket for a bad day
- Self care basket
- Chocolate brownies or cake
- Coffee with flavored creamers
- Dial shower gel (I love the feel and smell.)
- Color pens
- A book with a good twist
- Movies: comedies and chick flicks
- My tablet with my personal play list (music)
Tom would get excited over whatever I made whether it was grilled cheese with tomato soup or super chocolate cake. He loved my desserts. . .
I made him a five layer cake for one birthday.
I made my own fontant.
This was the leftover Halloween candy cake.
My family recipe pineapple upside down cake.
My health is like balancing on a high wire.
Yesterday I had low blood sugar spell. . . tired, sore, cranky.
It was 72. I had a few sugar cubes and it went up to 138 and 150. I work my best at 120. However I have no figured how to balance it just well yet.
However I love my soda, chocolate, and coffee.
Just don’t want my damn diabetes to destroy my love of food.
I love chocolate and coffee.
I know I have said this before, but I can make a seven course meal, clean the entire house, be on 4 hours of sleep, pay all of the bills, go shopping, and if I do not write something, I feel my day is unproductive.
I know a good meal, nice, and a clean place, feels good, but without writing, I just do not feel accomplished anything at all. (Http://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com)
I love food. (Yes, I am a bigger lady, and I am watching my weight for health. However I will not deny a new or fun food experience. )
I enjoy making food, cooking, baking, and going out. (When I got out, I usually try to order something, I usually I will not make at home.)
I’m always researching for my writing. I’ve learned from life experience as well.
I enjoy reading and finding out more about all kinds of things.
- I am a bear. (Or a bulldog whatever is cuter.)
I am a very determined person. The loyal person. The type of person who would do whatever I had to.
I may be sweet or cranky doing it, it depends on how people treat me.
When first dating, I was always told you in need to bring your best foot forward and be on your best behavior.
- No burping on purpose. (Mouth closed and always say “Excuse me.”)
- I have to hold my farts. (It really hurts to hold it back. It makes the stomach upset. I try to get to the bathroom to release gas, but the whole damn thing is embarrassing.)
- No garlic or onion breath. (Always have gum or mints or candy )
- Don’t eat out of plate in yesterdays clothes with mismatched socks. (You know you have done it or a variation . Lol)
- Watch how much you cuss or yell at the tv with bad sports calls. (I was raised with brothers who enjoyed sports.
- Be polite (9 times out 10, I am polite)
- No being moody or b*itchy (it is hard to hold back PMS if they are jerk.)
- Watch my weirdness and creativity (It can scare off “normal” people.)
- Need to shave all of the right spots. (It feels nice, but is a lot of work.)
- Dress up. (I know that guys want me to dress up, but it is not me. Unless you have a extremely nice place to take me, then there is no point in me dressing up.)
I am not sure if there is a guy worth all of this energy. I mean most of my best behavior isn’t really me.
I am honest and can be a rough on the edges, but I am best damn loyal girlfriend you’ll ever have.
I’m exhausted. Sleep only happens in single cycles of 3 hours maybe more, here and there.
I’ve had nightmares, panic attacks and depression fighting me all weekend.
Nightmares of being abandoned and lost and confused. (My chest is getting tight just thinking of it.)
Past coming back to literally haunt me, but migraines beating me instead. Past on hold.
Chest heavy, breathing hard, panic catching in my throat.
Stomach turns, food comes from helping hands, but doesn’t help.
That is my weekend. I did manage to get to write pieces here and there. There is a light.
I believe the world needs harsh, realistic people. They need to be the “bulldogs ” and “bears.” I am a “bear” or “bulldog” if need to be. However I need someone who is understanding. I need someone who will encourage and support me, and let me do the same to them.
I was interested in this local guy, but once we really started texting I got to see his true colors. He believe I was using my health issues as an excuse. However he was not in my shoes to know what I have gone through and what I’m going through now. (Our views on helping family and being there for each other are very different.)
My head doesn’t stop. I’m always thinking, worrying, planning about something. (I probably over think, but that is another blog.) I am either barely sleep (due to nightmares, anxiety or hormones) or I over sleep like up 18 hours a day. I have endometriosis hyperplasia (long words for extreme female hormonal issues) anemia, board line diabetic, headaches, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and pstd.
I’m on my second therapist. I have several specialist. I am trying to better my health, but I know it is a daily struggle. I’m trying to find more people in my life as many of my friends have kids and are married. I don’t feel at many times I can relate. (Many have stop talking to me after my ex died.) I know I will find some support.
It was guys like this that makes me afraid to talk about my health problems.
I feel bad for this guy who sees this world so harshly. I hope he finds a kind-hearted, gentle, understanding woman, who makes him a better man just by being in his world. He needs some sunshine.
Things that make me happy
- Getting an a long e-mail
- Good Sex with lots of foreplay
- Hours of unbothered writing
- Writing 10,000 words in a day
- Finishing (reading) a good book
- A story with a good twist
- Not being able to predict something
- Going out
- Helping others
- Making others happy
- Cuddling with someone nice during a movie
- Kissing and making out
- Getting actual mail: letters and package
- Bubble bath
- Having energy
- A nice walk
- Lots of pillows and comfy bed
- Good night sleep
- Talking all night
- Going to the zoo
- Good Morning Greeting
- Spooning: I like the inner spoon
- A good tone male hairless chest
- A fit six pack ab
- Bright blue or blue-green eyes
- A nice smile
- Hair on the a guy’s head that I can run my hand through
- A night of card or board games with friends
1. A good cup of coffee
3. A Sweet text
4. Fried chicken
5. Soda-pop (pepsi)
6. New notebook
7. New colored pens
8. Clean clothes with tide
9. Clean sheets
10. First kiss
11. A good movie
12. A good book
13. Agood joke
15. Not having to put groceries back at the register
18. Writing a story
19. Finishing a writing project
21. Writing several blogs
22. A bubble bath
23. Going out
24. Ice cream
26. Dark Forest Cake
27. Time to write
29. Secretly dancing
30. Good night sleep
32. A good song
35. Body Spray
36. a long drive