Online Dating- Eh!

First of I am a bbw. . .Big Beautiful Woman. I am not a model or superstar. I am a writer who loves to cook, bake, cats, cuddle, and movies.

Secondly, I consider myself a D.U.F.F . . . most peoples designated ugly fat friend. . . I’m not ugly, but my truthful words can be. I rarely drink (its over a year) so I’m the sober friend that will tell you exactly how it is and most people are afraid to face it. (This one guy asked me why did he kept getting cheated on. . . he had a nice job and he was a too trusting guy. . the mean girls made him feel sexy, but they just used him for flirty money or a ride while they fuck a bad boys. I told him, they see a nice and they will use him. I also told him that he needed to find a nice yet creative girl; someone who likes to roleplay so she could pretend to be the mean girl. . .last I heard he was married 5 years now with two kids.)

I was in a relationship with a creative geek, and I’m seeking another, locally. Someone totally into me and can calm me down when I get anxious and nervous. Someone who let’s me call the shots, but I still feel safe with.

I’ve tried plenty of fish, match, Eharmony, OkCupid etc.

Okcupid— If I didn’t mention something sexual, my profile barely got looked at. I’ve dealt with drunken horn-dogs and forgeign guys asking me to marry them for visas. The owners of this site did get better with finding those and created selective searches which helped. However the horn-dogs are still on their.

Match— its nice for the first 5 days while you have a platinum trial, but after then, its like they push to buy silver pack or gold pack you need to see more like if Joe B. likes you. I’ve seen sites say you have three admirers, but you must pay in order to see them. When did love cost so much? Isn’t greedy to put a price on your heart? I guess love really is a luxury. If I had 29.95 per month, I wouldn’t put it on a “what if Joe B.gets my four line email.”. . . I can put it on groceries, a pet, gas, bills, movies, save for a vacation etc.

Craig’s list— I did try this a few times. I met one guy and found a lot of horny catfish. The one guy complained about everything, but he could have whatever he wanted. . . but nothing made him happy. I hope he finds happiness. (Note: there was too many illegal things going on with the sex trade, so they closed their personals.)

Plenty of fish were full of the wannabe busy bad boy who just wanted a good time instead of a relationship. I probably sent 6 dozen messages, but I rarely got a message back. When I did, I got called names like pig, cow, fuggly bitch etc. Or I would get messages from married men wanting a secret relationship or I even caught a few catfish. (They complain that their wives or girlfriends didn’t want sex since the baby was born, but I never those guys helping their partner take care of the kids or get a family member to watch while they a nice hotel for relaxation and rest. Pamper and romance your girls, damnit!)

Eharmony— I failed their test twice. They claim that only happens to like 7% but I think its more. I read this article, and its happened more than not. . .

“How Do You Get Rejected By Eharmony? Start By Telling the Truth.”

Susan Isaacs

http://storylineblog.com/2013/08/07/how-do-you-get-rejected-by-eharmony-start-by-telling-the-truth/

Eharmony christian robots are a very small group.

(Note: I’ve tried other Christian sites, and as much as I believe in Jesus Christ, I have many other beliefs which clash with many beliefs of the stricter Christian churches. For example, I believe in women dominants as much as men, and that charity is like pass it forward, help those in need, you don’t just have to work through a Church for it to count. Jesus did most of his ministry in the streets. So Christian sites don’t work for me. I will post a future blog getting more into this.)

However Eharmony and this lovely lady’s article inspired me.

Eharmony used to ask like 100-200 questions in 24-25 different sections of your daily life. . . I researched this, and I will explain on this sections and such throughout the month of August.

I got rejected twice so this way I can still get my answers out.

Please do not think, I am telling not to try online dating, but it has been more frustrating than hopeful for me.

This is strictly coming a bigger set female hopeful to find other people in the world who understand her. I’m not even seeking love at the moment.

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So tired

Why am I so tired? Coffee only works sometimes, sigh!

Why don’t I have energy?

I wake up, eat, do some phone calls, take meds, and go back to bed. Sighs!

5 hour energy shots help as long as I drink enough. However the crash is hard!

I hate my sleep issues….apnea and anemia. Between the both, I feel I have permanent mono.

How can I get daily energy?

Weird

Since I accidentally posted on my previous blog, I’ve gotten more readers, so I’m doing more blogs on that blog. (More fan fiction, maybe personal stories, poems, rants etc)

I’m in my own world, but its ok they know me there

I do plan to work on blog series about online dating on this blog.

I also will work on my muses on my writing blog.

author blog Rebekah Quinne

So please check out all three blogs.

August will be my blog writing month.

Moving on

As mentioned in my previous blog, I discovered a difference in being alone and be lonely.

Last month I made a release book. . . (I bought a cheap composition notebook, and I released everything. . . my hopes, dreams, fears, heartache, worries. . . then I reread it and ripped it to shreds. Normally I would burn it, but my current living situation will not allow that.) I felt lighter, but I learned about myself in the process.

With it, I deleted accounts that were wasting my life like plentyoffish or other personals. I kept getting the same horny guy or a guy to ask advice for another girl or the catfish (yes, I’ve caught my share, sigh.)

I have learned I need to love me first. I started working on my novel again.

I’m content writing in my own world.

The world feels so open and amazing.

Stuck in bed

My anemia had me barely opening my eyes all day. I slept, had weird dreams and then slept again. . . why are my blood issues playing tricks with my mind?

I couldn’t focus, but I’m okay on my word count. So I didn’t write much today, but my muses have been really motivated.

I was impressed my neighbor noticed that I was down. Maybe I’m not invisible. Sighs.