2018 VS 2019

What have I learned in 2018

1. It’s ok to be single. Friends are better than a struggling relationship.
2. You should research therapist and doctors. It’s ok to switch to seek the doctor that works and listens to you. Second opinions are also ok. (Doctors are human, and they do make mistakes. There are issues with similar symptoms.)
3. Good deeds go a long way. They can be as simple as give money or complicated as giving your time to help someone living situation.
4. Celebrities have the same issues as an “average Joe.” They have depression, anxiety, panic attacks. They get nervous and can worry about roles.  They have diet issues and can get sick. They even have problem with sleep and some even go to therapy.
5. Life is short, be Happy! I have learned that happiness is up to you. It is that simple.  (Pursue things that make you happy.)

 

What I want to do in 2019

1. I want to finish several of my writing projects. (I will have my writing goals on my blog http://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/ )
2. I want to make more friends. (I guess I need to socialize a bit more.)
3. I want to help others. (So many has helped me this year, I want to give back.)
4. Make my body healthier (Yes, I know lower soda, walk, and sleep more.)
5. I want to get a better place to live, more space. (Hopefully with a cat or two.)

I am focusing on me

I am focusing on me

I am NOT seeking a relationship for a while.

• I cannot find someone patient enough to truly get me, this does NOT just happen over night.
• I am NOT seeking an online wannabe relationship thing. (I have very weak wifi, my landlord is cheap and thinks a basic house modem can deal with more than ten devices. We have at least four running in our place alone. I also have NO privacy. I will NOT give my messengers or phone number just after one message or one day of messaging. I have learned my lesson. That just means I am dealing with impatient person. One word comes to mind catfish.)
• I think I do not have someone else yet is that I do not want to put my health issues on anyone else.
• I feel there is needs to be some kind of physical intimacy in a relationship. (I’m not asexual or grey sexual at the moment by choice.)
• I am not sure if I am truly over my ex as I keep comparing others to him and most do not add up (there is also a fear of getting hurt again. I know I am strong, but I am still working on the heal process. I do not think I can take another blow.)

I need to focus on my health issues.
• Currently my sleep patterns are off ( my cpap machine not really helping completely yet, I’m still very tired, low energy and easily cranky.)
• I have a rash from the location I am in (the cheap paint and some of the bleach products that they use).
• My emotional issues (hyper, sad, angry, bouncy. . . uncontrolled mood swings and hormonal issues), and my female pains (taking sexual intimacy off the table. Which honestly sucks).

I may take time off the personal sites for a while as there is no connection, no real relationship. I think I need to rewrite my profile because I keep getting guys against my deal-breakers. Some just want instant direction because they just do not want to control their own lives anymore and others just want to sexual please someone. . . I am NOT seeking either.

I think the best for me is to find friends who I truly connect with.
I rather have fun with friends some dinners, karaoke parties, card or board games, cuddles with movies, and if there is that submissive-yet-more-than-friends connections I get with someone, awesome. If not, I am still happy with who I am.

If you want to be friends, awesome. If not then I hope you find the dominant or the kinky girlfriend you need. (Note: if you are into a relationship, please let your partner know that you have friends. I will NOT be a secret.)

So I’m focusing on myself: my health and what makes me happy!

5 of my greatest Compliments

I get compliment and thanked for different things. I try to put others before myself. I have a few skills. . . . Music, writing, cooking etc.

These are my greatest compliments I was given. . .

1. You are a gifted and/or awesome writer. You have so much talent and tell a twisted, creative story. Keep writing. Please don’t stop writing. (I try to write as much as I can. I try my best to ignore the others who say I write too much.)

2. Thank you for being an open and/Or honest person. (I believe in honesty, no point in lying. It will catch up with you and cause a mess.)

3. You are an awesome cook. I love (fill in the dish, I make a lot.) I love

4. I look forward to your future blogs, stories, messages or e-mail etc. (This one is my top 5 because it means the person wants to see or read more of me.)

5. Thank you for replying back. (Its simple, but to me it’s just matters. If you took the time to read my profile and message at least I can do is thank you for your time, even if I’m not interested. It helps for closure and for the other to move on. I hate to be hanging, waiting for a reply that would never happen, it’s rude.)

Honorable mention

You sing so well. I love your voice. (I enjoy singing and I’ve had 14 years of vocal training and won many awards. I had ear isdyes some just sing karaoke and myself now.)

I wasn’t on here all November

I’ve been busy. . .

1. Working on Nanowrimo I explain more about it on my writing blog: http://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com
2. Dealing with health issue: sleep issues, female issues, migraine, sinuses, and gout
3. Weekly Errands
4. Working on a writing project for a friend
5. Trying to find friends that understand me
6. Cooking
7. Sleeping
8. Seeing doctors
9. Thanksgiving

Late post: Thanksgiving

I’m sorry this post is late, but just before Thanksgiving I got gout, and I’ve been healing and sleeping ever since.

We had a good Thankgiving holiday in which I’m very thankful for. However there was no drama just family, friends, food and laughter. (It was nice, but I was waiting for someone to breakout or a couple bickering in the background, but just enjoy each other and food. Its sad that I’m used to that around the holidays.)

I’ve been sleeping a lot just to heal my painful ankles.

Days 24 and 25

Day 24 and 25

https://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com/2018/10/01/im-trying-to-better-myself-2/

Note: the main person who posted the questions was away from her computer yesterday, so I decided to post Day 24 the way she had posted the previous days and she messaged me asking if I would like to write posts for the page. (Dances! I know it’s not a paying thing, but it helps my writing resume.)

Day 24: Do you compare yourself to others? How can you be more focused on yourself?

I used to all of the time, and sometimes when I’m sleep deprived I still will. (I’m horrible with Facebook and looking up old school mates. I see their hopeful,my healthy families and busy lives and wonder if kids are worth it. I have so many mood and mental issues, I’m afraid I would ruin a boyfriend . . . I know I would screw up a kid. Sighs.)

I try to focus on things I love Writing, cooking, and cats.

Day 25: If you met a person that was just like you, would you like them? If so, why? If not, how could you view the person more positively?

I would find myself interesting and if can both remain calm we would have some good conversations. However i do NOT have the patience for myself. (I really don’t know how my family does it with my grotchiness and mood swings.)

I rather communicate to them through writing. If they are me we would both be doing online at 3 am in the morning.

Day 23: Hopeful Outcome

Day 23: What is your ideal outcome of this challenge?

I’m trying to better myself

1. To learn more about myself.

2. Look at the world more positively.

3. Maybe to spark my creative inspiration for writing (90% of my life evolves around writing, for those who don’t I’m a struggling writer first and everything else second. . . http://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com is my writing blog.)

Thank you for likes

I was worried that I wasn’t being read.

Still I kept posting, because I need the release. I’ve been tired and kind of discouraged.

I’m glad there are those who read and liked my blogs.

Please enjoy the past pieces and the future one.

Yesterday was my best so far on WordPress with this page.

Thank you to my fellow readers.

Days 19 to 22

I’m trying to better myself

I’m sorry, but due time issues and sleep problems I’ve put the last four days together.

Day 19: Do you have an activity that makes you feel alive and good within yourself?

1. Writing

2. Playing with Cats

3. Cooking

4 playing games: SIM or jeopardy

5. Music

Day 20: Has your self-esteem improved with doing this challenge? If so, how?

I learned I’m stronger than I thought. I can find the good in me if I just tried a bit more.

I would answer more, but I’ve been fighting sleep issues

Day 21: Name at least 5 things that you are good at.

1. Writing

2. Cooking

3. Shopping

4. Singing

5. Managing. . . Schedules, planning , to-do lists

Day 22: Which of your skills or abilities do you pride yourself on?

I am proud of this skills

My writing

My baking

My cat care

My cooking

My scheduling and list making skills

Day 17: Calming Down

Day 17: What do you do to feel calmer when you’re stressed?

https://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com/2018/10/01/im-trying-to-better-myself-2/

Things I do to calm down

1. Talk a walk

2. Listen to music

3. Blog or diary about it

4. Post on 7 cups

5. Get a listener on 7 cups

6. Pet a cat

7. Take a bath

8. Get a massage

9. Bake or cook

10. Watch you tube