40 things about me

​40 interesting things about me.

1. Do you like blue cheese? No

2. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

3. Do you own a gun? No

4. What flavor Kool-aid? Fruit punch

5. What do you think of hot dogs? Best on grill

6. Favorite TV show? Big bang theory, Dharma and Greg, 2 broke girls, and criminal minds

7. Favorite movie? Forest Gump, interview with a vampire, beetljuice

8. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee 

9. Can you do a push up? If I have to. 

10. Favorite piece of of jewelry? I don’t wear any. 

11. Do you have a hobby? Writing and cooking

12. Do you have A.D.D. ? No

13. Do you wear glasses? Yes –

14. Favorite cartoon character? Tom and Jerry, tigger

15. Three things I did yesterday? Chatted, wrote a scene in my novel, and cooked. 

16. Three drinks you drink regularly? Coffee, Pepsi, hot tea

17. Current worries? That I am never going to find someone I have a true connection with 

18. Current dislikes? stupid people, lairs, and cat/dog haters

19. Favorite place to go? I currently don’t have a real place, but I love the secret place in my head. 

20. How did you bring in the new year? In the hospital supporting my dying ex

21. Where would you like to go? England, Scotland, Ireland, France, Italy, and Solvika

22. Name five people who will do this? I have no idea. 

23. Childhood hero? Anne Rice

24. Favorite color? Purple, black, silver, and crimson

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets ? I like the idea

26. Can you whistle? Yes

27. Where are you now? home 

28. Would you be a pirate? No

29. Favorite food? Italian

30. Favorite time of the day? Night

31. 3 wishes? Enough money, I will never worry over bills, completely furnished house, and success with my writing

32. What are you thinking right now? I should get some sleep. 

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Someone trying to hit on me

34. Favorite animal? Cats 

35. What’s your most current injury? Cat scratch from kitten I rescued. 

36. How many tv’s are in your house? 2

37. Worst pain ever? Migraine and my cramps

38. Do you like to dance? Only when no one is looking

39. Are your parents still alive? Yes

40. Do you love life? Pieces and moments

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Therapy exercise

I was asked “Where do I see myself in a year?” 

This year, from Sept (2016) to Sept (2017), I’ve learned that so much can change in the year. 

  • By next Sept (2018), I hope to have my thriller novella trilogy being sold in real book stores. 
  • I also hope to help my mom and brother have their own place with two cats.
  • I hope I am with a great guy who gets me, but that is icing on the cake. 

My goal is to put my past behind me and build my confidence. 

Where do I see myself in 5 years?”

(When I was in therapy, I had said I wanted to be with a guy, I found out was a catfish.) I realize I need  to focus on me. 

  • I hope to be on book tours and lectures and selling my books.
  • I hope my family is taken care of.
  • I hope to be with someone, but again it is icing on the cake. 

I try to focus a day at a time, not to look at the future. I get anxious thinking about it. 

 

Baggage

I used to watch the game show called Baggage. Jerry Springer was the host. There was the main person, male or female which had a piece of extreme baggage. Then they get to see three or four of the wanted type of partner with their small, medium, and large baggage. 

It made me think what is my baggage. 

Small baggage: I’m very close to my family. I moved back in with them. (My ex didn’t want me to work, so when he passed away, I had nothing. I try to help support my family and they help and support me.)

Medium baggage: I am seeking someone to inspire me and support my writing career. 

Large baggage: I have health issues which encourages me to entrance more of a dominant life style. I am a dominant yet sensual mistress who loves control. I love chastity and other fetishes. I want a submissive boyfriend who wants me for who I am and supports me. 
Surprising baggage: I do not want kids, and I will not date those with kids. I rather have 2 to 3 cats. I helped raise my brothers and was forced into an education major, this burnt me out. I want adult fun, writing my book, like running around the house naked or have dinner parties or traveling more.  

Ideal day

My ideal day would be

8:30 Wakes up after hitting snooze twice. Get breakfast with coffee

9:00 Works out on indoor bike

9:30 Shower

9:45 Lotion, priming body

10:00 Checking email, research and notes or outlines for writing or errands

12:00 lunch

12:30 writing my blogs, novels

4:30 make dinner, or errands 

6:30 have dinner and clean up. 

7:00  Be with family or boyfriend before bed, TV, games etc

11:30  Research, read, and relax before bed, maybe a bath

1:30 go to bed. 

My coffee. Sigh. 

When I get stressed I easily get sick and/or drained. Over this last week I have been up and down.  Yesterday was hard on me. . . plans got cancelled. My medical insurance has issues now everything is pushed back and my anxiety is on high. My body fights between insomnia and bad sleep from sleep apnea. 

I crashed only to eat dinner at 9 last night. I was exhausted eating I was careful not to choke. However I went for a walk last night to get candy and coffee  (that would be my autobiography be called “Candy and Coffee.”) I walked home took like three sips of my coffee put in the fridge and thought about it all night even in my twisted dreams. 

My brother went to hand me it this morning, and it slipped and spilled all over the carpet . . .damn it. It just fits into the ahhhhh theme this week. Okay back to rotating water and Pepsi. 

Tomorrow is a new day and this are going to to get better.

Weekend plans

I plan to play my brother’s ff rpg. (It’s a dice and fantasy game). 

I also plan to cook, work on some blogs and short stories  (Not sure what genre yet). 

I’m also watching catfish, I’m obsessed with that show. I do a lot of chatting and online flirting, so I’m always cautious. 
I had a stressful day yesterday I had issues with insurance. I hope next week to get it worked out. Meanwhile I have to hold off on all my doctors and meds. I have some to hold me off, but it really freaked me out. 

I’ve had a few people (besides family) who really helped me out yesterday and I’m very thankful for that. I’ve learned it’s one day at a time with my depression. Each day is a hill, and I got over yesterday. The weekend is hopefully just going to be relaxing.

Things That Make Me Happy

Things that make me happy

  1. Getting an a long e-mail
  2. Baking
  3. Cooking
  4. Good Sex with lots of foreplay
  5. Hours of unbothered writing
  6. Writing 10,000 words in a day
  7. Finishing (reading) a good book
  8. A story with a good twist
  9. Not being able to predict something
  10. Soda-pop
  11. Going out
  12. Helping others
  13. Making others happy
  14. Cats
  15. Cuddling with someone nice during a movie
  16. Kissing and making out
  17. Getting actual mail: letters and package
  18. Bubble bath
  19. Having energy
  20. A nice walk
  21. Lots of pillows and comfy bed
  22. Good night sleep
  23. Talking all night
  24. Going to the zoo
  25. Sailing
  26. Swimming
  27. Good Morning Greeting
  28. Spooning: I like the inner spoon
  29. Flirting
  30. A good tone male hairless chest
  31. A fit six pack ab
  32. Bright blue or blue-green eyes
  33. A nice smile
  34. Hair on the a guy’s head that I can run my hand through
  35. A night of card or board games with friends

I’m just Tipsy

I hate talking when someone is drunk. . .
they get loud, frisky, and always seem to have argumentative ideas.
I either think they are always right or they have to save all of the world’s problems right there and then.
They also pull answers out of the thin air.
Why can’t just people drink quietly and go to bed?

 

On a bar note: 

I hate being drunk. . . I’m afraid I will get taken advantage of. . . I have to be in control.

Many of my friends think I am looser when I had a drink or two.

Just do not get me to pass to my emotional drunk, because then I am a wreck, bitchy, jealous, and no fun.

The Small Things

 

1. A good cup of coffee
2. Candy
3. A Sweet text
4. Fried chicken
5. Soda-pop (pepsi)
6. New notebook
7. New colored pens
8. Clean clothes with tide
9. Clean sheets
10. First kiss
11. A good movie
12. A good book
13. Agood joke
14. Laughing
15. Not having to put groceries back at the register
16. Lilacs
17. Carnations
18. Writing a story
19. Finishing a writing project
20. Massage
21. Writing several blogs
22. A bubble bath
23. Going out
24. Ice cream
25. Cheesecake
26. Dark Forest Cake
27. Time to write
28. Music
29. Secretly dancing
30. Good night sleep
31. Energy
32. A good song
33. Friends
34. Family
35. Body Spray
36. a long drive
37. Coloring
38. drawing
39. Painting
40. Pie