Please be honest with me. . .
If I am too fat for you, okay not everyone enjoys bbw. (I’m trying to get more fit, but I have I’ll move on. If you are worried about weight, it is easier to move too.)
If I am too harsh or not harsh enough, tell me. (I am who I am, if I am too harsh for you, we will not fit.)
I know I am not a nurturer, or sympathetic. (However I’m a very generous and caring person. I’m also empathetic at times, but that drains me.)
The thing I have learned from honesty is that it is easier to heal and move on. (Thing someone is spearing my feelings by lying is mean and a fool.)
Note: telling me these things, does NOT mean I will change, but does mean we are probably not compatible and to move on.
There 7.6 billion people in the world, I’m NOT for everyone. Just be honest with me and yourself.
I’m just trying to find a honest person who communicates often and connects with me. Is that too much to ask?
Things that make me happy
- Getting an a long e-mail
- Good Sex with lots of foreplay
- Hours of unbothered writing
- Writing 10,000 words in a day
- Finishing (reading) a good book
- A story with a good twist
- Not being able to predict something
- Going out
- Helping others
- Making others happy
- Cuddling with someone nice during a movie
- Kissing and making out
- Getting actual mail: letters and package
- Bubble bath
- Having energy
- A nice walk
- Lots of pillows and comfy bed
- Good night sleep
- Talking all night
- Going to the zoo
- Good Morning Greeting
- Spooning: I like the inner spoon
- A good tone male hairless chest
- A fit six pack ab
- Bright blue or blue-green eyes
- A nice smile
- Hair on the a guy’s head that I can run my hand through
- A night of card or board games with friends
Warning: Adult Rating
I still like him alot—at least the version of the guy in my head.
It started out as two writers working on a few online stories together. Then we talked and shared personal stuff. Next we know the “L” word get passed over some texts. A few phone calls and lots of pictures. . .
Stress and problems share. . . words of hope.
Then nightmares and depression has me struggling to believe anything and makes me feel alone. My fear haunted me. . . that he catfished (as I have been before), that he is married, that he is not who he says he is.)-0-
We never met and the dark cloud in my head believes we well never meet and keep telling me to move on.
365 days of feelings, arguments, stories, chats. . . I enjoyed it all, but I wanted and needed and still WANT and NEED more.
I want to cuddle, kiss, make out, dance, have sex with lots of foreplay, sleep together, spooning, get have him see me be bashful and blush.
I guess the Fates feel we are just not ready for each other (yet if at all.)
I am not the type to handle a long timed– long distanced relationship with someone with similar problems as mine. Sigh.
The version of people, places, dreams in my head are usually 75% or more way better than those in reality.
I do this with guys a lot; especially the pretty guys with hot eyes and nice chest. . . I always make them more sweet, caring and interested in me in my head than they are in reality.
In reality, they are busy with their own lives. I’m probably not on the first of their list.
In my head, they all head over heels for me. They make time for me and they want to please me and have me please them. (All of the naughty gossiping whispers are about how “good” I am.)
I really love the “naughty” and “nice” ideas in my head.
I need to stop fantasizing and face reality. . . just makes my depression worst. Grrrr. Movies and media do not help.
Reality makes my anxiety go nuts, because I think too much. I like the idea of a guy into me, but in reality the guy was just there for the moment. Or he was nothing like what he was in my head.
My unicorn would be the guy I see in my head and reality.
I should just stick my making my fictional characters worshiping. . . to them I am a goddess.
2016 was a very challenging year. I felt really stuck and trapped this year, so I really didn’t feel I accomplished that much. I mean I didn’t even finish a book: writing or reading. However I have learned a lot about myself.
My writing accomplishments link here. . . https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2016/12/30/what-happened-in-2016/
Things I accomplished in 2016
- I am working more on a day schedule. Eh, I know, but maybe I can figure out where to get more writing and editing in.
- I have gone to the doctor myself.
- I have gone to therapy by myself.
- I feel I have more energy.
Things I have learned in 2016
- I loved flavored coffee. (Mocha, coconut, caramel vanilla, and Chocolate raspberry are my favorite.)
- My cat will look all over the house when I am gone.
- I miss my cat very much.
- Therapy really works as long as you are open and honest with the therapist and yourself.
- I like cats sometimes better than people.
- I would be a good vet assistant or care-giver.
- I have less anxiety when I am busy.
- I live and deal better when I am on my own.
- I can do chores better when I am by myself (at my own time and doing it my own way.)
- I’m sorry, but I am not a baby or kid person. (I rather have a fur-baby that purrs.)
- I have learned I hate to be controlled or told what to do. I do NOT deal with authority well.
- Distance is just a number when love is involved. (still makes me sad my “wolfie” is not here.)
- I secretly like to fold towels and peel potatoes.
- I do not like being treated like a 15 year old who needs a babysitter.
- Not driving really limits me. (But I am terrified of getting in an accident again.)
Have a crush: Yes
Have a bestfriend: A few really good friends
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Yes
What’s your boyfriend/girlfriend name: River
Want a boyfriend/girlfriend: I have one
Want a new bestfriend: I like to have some more friends
Do you prefer:
Cats or dogs: Cats
Purple or blue: Purple
Choc or vanilla: Chocolate
Books or movies: Both
Being asleep or awake: I wish I didn’t have to sleep
Snuck out: No
Been Suspended: no
Felt lonely: yes
Cried your self to sleep: yes
Gone to sleep with your clothes on: yes
Littered: I try not to
Fav TV shows: Big Bang or Chopped
Fav book: Currently Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles
Fav subjects: Music, and English
Fav food: Currently sushi, pizza, soups, and lasagna
Cheat: No. I am extremely loyal to a fault
Kill an animal: I prefer to go to the store for my meat. I don’t think I could kill an animal other than a spider.
Sneak out: a moment to myself.
Break into a shop: No
Scared to lose someone: yes
Scared of the clowns: do not like them (thank you Stephen King)
Scared of dying: Not much anymore
Scared of heights: yes
Scared of Spiders: I do not like them
Do you think:
People talk about you behind your back: Yes
Someone loves you (not including family): Yes
Someone hates you: I have my enemies
Someone secretly wants to date you: Maybe