I have been looking for just friends. . . I posted in the platonic section. . . which is where two people show intimacy and affection  . . . hug, cuddle, and maybe kiss on the cheek. However it is a sex free friendship. It is amazing how any people just do not understand what PLATONIC really means. . .

I want someone I can go see movies with or amusement parks. I want someone I go out to dinner or make dinner together. I want someone I can joke and laugh with. . . I want to feel comfortable with and not feel pressured to give myself physically. I love writing, cooking, baking, hiking, playing card and board games, play wii sports (I love bowling on wii and in real life), volleyball, watching football, swimming, and so much more. I just want someone to help me get more out of the house. I really think I need it.

However I keep getting guys and couples who want me for “adult fun.” I am NOT looking for that.

(Note: I am not trying to “friend zone” anyone. Between my physical and mental health, I am NOT ready for something sexual. I will not waste my/their time, heart or energy with someone I do not have an attraction, commitment, or connection with. . . )


Sometimes I just to be a kid again playing on the swings.


The Dark Side

My Christmas List (Man Edition)

I want someone who talks to me and not just thinks with his smaller head.
I want someone to wipe my tears when I cry.
I want someone to date me with nothing in return.
I want them to be grateful for when I do give them something in return. \
I want them to be affectionate. . . loves to kiss and hand hands. 
I want someone who is honest and straight forward with me. 
I want someone who is ambitious. . . a doer, not just a dreamer. 
I want someone to romance and dance with me . . .
I want someone who treats me like a princess, queen or goddess.
I want someone who lets me treat him like a king or god. 
I want someone who really wants me.
I want someone who knows how to laugh and be funny.
I want someone who is adventurous and loves to have fun of all sorts.
I want someone who just understand when something is wrong that I just want an ear and a hug. (Maybe a cuddle and some chocolate.)

If he came in a package with blonde hair and blue eyes. . . that would be a bonus.


Reality Vs Mr. Dream Date

I have been talking to a guy off and on for over a month now. I like this guy, but I think I like how he is in my head. IRL (in real life) . . . he is different . . .  he says the right things to mend things, but I feel like when I really need him, he doesn’t want to face it.
He says thinks like “I need you,” or “I think about you all of the time.” He calls me gorgeous and beautiful.  It makes me feel good.

My problem is I’m addicted to him . . .  I day dream about us. I check my e-mail like 80 million times a day. I get excited when he talks to me, even though he doesn’t always said what I want to hear or expect.
I feel like I let him down when I say “No,” “I don’t like that” that he will not like me. I feel that way with all of my friends. I am a people pleaser because I am and have been insecure.
I’m afraid to be used, cheated, and hurt again. . . so I am super insecure.

I feel like he doesn’t want to take past pictures and words. . .

I love the feeling, but am I even ready for someone new?

All I have to say. . . if you really want me, then come and see me.
If all we are, are words, then let me know so I can distance myself. (As a writer, I do not mind words, but they do NOT hug or cuddle with me at night.)

The Door is AJar

I am into this guy—I know he thinks differently and views things from a different perspective.  I am trying to see things from his point of view. I’m trying to be open. I want to try new experiences. I want to be crazy. I want to live life and stop hiding behind a bright screen. (I love my computer, and I love my writing, but I FEEL I NEED to have more experiences, more crazy stories.)

I need to drop my worrying nature and cautiousness, and take life by the balls. Go! I NEED to do something. I need someone who is patient and takes me by the hand and helps me face the world. I need to


The only problem with my openness that I have noticed in the past is that I am very impressable. And if things make sense to me, I can sometimes be easily swayed to a certain point of view. I am a big people pleaser and I have a bad habit of losing myself. (Part of me wonders . . .  if I am just flexible of if I am not secure in myself enough to stick to my guns.)