Day 15: Outer Image

Day 15: Do you like your personal appearance? If so, why? If not, what are some ways you could view yourself differently?

My body has always been an up and down issue with me. I’ve always been a larger, curvy girl. My legs are 90% muscle, (cannot be pinched) because of the sports I was in and even now I walk whenever I can. My behind or stomach are my problem areas when they are the last to get slimmer, sigh.

I’m not into dressing up, make up or heel. I’m into comfort: jeans and tee shirts. (It’s hard for me to any skirt, blouse or dress that I like or feel good in. My weight with heels, ah, no, no no.)

As for my face, I’ve always had a youthful, cute face. I love my high cheek bones, bottom of the lake blue eyes, and a nice smile. (I get comments on my eyes.) My hair is fine but greasy , I have dyed it in all colors but green, and I usually gave it in a pony tail. (The back of my neck gets hot fast.) My teeth need extra care, but over I’m not bad.

It just depends on my mood in how I see myself, on a good day I see myself as 7 (minus health issues.) On a bad day . . . a -2.

I am hard on myself, and I am my worst enemy. (I’ve gotten more compliments than insults on my personal ads, and yet the insult seem to sting longer.)


Day 14: People in your life

Day 14: Is there someone in your life who makes you feel good about yourself? If so, who and why?

My family tries, but I have not found any one made me feel good about myself. I feel bad, because I either ignore (one side as i do not feel they can handle my emotional side) or snap at them.

When I get compliments on my writings, I feel good. it’s a few second ego boost and done. Sigh. (I’m very grateful for all positive compliment and encouragement for my means the world to me. I feel good to know I have people who reads.)

However I think I’m more antisocial than I have ever been.(It feels the few people that I trust, not related to me, are too busy with their own lives or have just taken men out of their lives because I guess I’m just too much.)

I feel like a failure between, my anger (people stupidity), my mood swing, and my health issues keep me from friendships and relationships. (It can also be that I was hurt so bad but someone I trusted, I’m afraid I’ll get hurt again.)

I have noticed that there have been people in my life for a spec or moment . . .they serve their purpose and disappear. I’m grateful for those moments, but I would like a friend or submissive boyfriend for a permanent selection of time.

I’ve also learned people are not here to make me happy. If they do that is just the (super light yummy whipped) icing on the cake. If not, I can eat my plain moist cake on my own.

Day 2: 5 things that make me smile

Day 2 of October Postive Challenge

5 Things That make me smile or happy

1. Writing for hours straight

2. Compliments about my writing

3. Getting paid for my writing, (see a pattern here)

4. Cooking or baking awesome food

5. Having and playing with cats

Self challenge: Day 1

I’m taking part in 31 day self challenge. . . From

That I posted here. . .

Day 1: Self Esteem Challenge – List 10 things that you love about yourself. (Physical or personality)

1. My writing

2. My musical ability

3. Giving nature

4. Strength

5. Control

6. Endurance

7. My hope

8. Sense of humor

9. My hair

10. My eyes

I’m trying to better myself

I go to a therapy site that has helped quite a bit

I will admit if I could afford in would try a few of the therapist there and maybe a few new paths.

I’m on the free account and forums really help, the path and the listeners sometime help. However I usually get good feedback and encouragement on the forums.

On one of forums they have a monthly challenge for positivity and building yourself up.

I’m going to post my answers on their and here. I’m going to try daily.

The challenge is over 31 days, each day presenting a new task, encouraging us to value ourselves and recognize our skills and qualities. The tasks include:

Day 1, October 1: List 10 things that you love about yourself. (Physical or personality)

Day 2: List 5 things that make you smile or happy.

Day 3: What is one fear or goal that you would like to conquer?

Day 4: What do you do to feel better when you’re having a bad day?

Day 5: What’s your proudest accomplishment?

Day 6: What are some obstacles that are preventing you from accomplishing your goals? What will you do to overcome them?

Day 7: Do you think you care too much about what others think? If so how can you change that?

Day 8: What is a food you enjoy that makes you feel good?

Day 9: Do you have genuine respect for yourself and who you are as an individual? And if not, how can you change that?

Day 10: Are you happy with your “inner person”? If so, why or why not?

Day 11: Is your self-talk negative or positive? If it is negative, what are some more positive ways to talk to yourself?

Day 12: What’s the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself? Why did it make you feel this way?

Day 13: Share about the last time you felt confident in yourself. Why did you feel that confident?

Day 14: Is there someone in your life who makes you feel good about yourself? If so, who and why?

Day 15: Do you like your personal appearance? If so, why? If not, what are some ways you could view yourself differently?

Day 16: Do you have makeup, clothing or an accessory that makes you feel positive about yourself? If so what is it, and how does it make you feel positive?

Day 17: What do you do to feel calmer when you’re stressed?

Day 18: Do you like the way you talk? If so, why? If not, how can you view it more positively?

Day 19: Do you have an activity that makes you feel alive and good within yourself?

Day 20: Has your self-esteem improved with doing this challenge so far during the month? If so, how? If not, why not?

Day 21: Name at least 5 things that you are good at.

Day 22: Which of your skills or abilities to you pride yourself on?

Day 23: What is your ideal outcome of this challenge?

Day 24: Do you compare yourself to others? How can you be more focused on yourself?

Day 25: If you met a person that was just like you, would you like them? If so, why? If not, how could you view the person more positively?

Day 26: When was the last time you were too hard on yourself? What do you think you could have done to treat and comfort yourself instead?

Day 27: What is the main barrier to you having positive self-esteem? How can you break free from it?

Day 28: What do you consider to be healthy self-esteem? Does this match the dictionary definition of healthy self-esteem?

Day 29: What do you think of your teeth and your smile? Do you like them and if so, why? If not, how can you view them more positively?

Day 30: Validation is important to our self-esteem. Do others encourage you? If not, what are some ways that you can ask them to so your self-esteem is improved?

Day 31: Rate your self-esteem on a scale of 1-10? Has your self-esteem improved?

Note: All of the credit goes to

I’m a very spiritual person

I final my spirituality in many things. . .especially art, music, and outdoors. (The are elements I do not like about outdoors like the bees and insects.) However I love to walk in the fall with my mp3 player and just focus on what God/Godess has created. (I get more into the God/Goddess issues on my spiritual blog )

I have many playlists and I have a worship playlist. . . In which I get caught up comtempary Christian, and other motivating and touching songs. I love when I have my headset on and I’m just into the music completely undisturbed. (It has helped my anxious and blue moods at times.)

I spiritual in most thing such as art. I love abstract art.

I love food and it can be a satisfying and spiritual experience.

Again I post my spiritual moments, beliefs, and such in my spiritual blog.


Growing up, my sibling and I were raised that our pets, were not just animals but they were a part of the family. They were family members. We always had at least a cat or dog. . . Sometimes we have rabbits or hamsters too. However most cats and dome dogs were furry babies, I can depend on to talk ur snuggle. The animals do listen and communicate back.

I was snuggling with a cat at age of 6 months, my parents have pictures if me in my baby photo album cuddling with my first cat, Spooky, she was a black Siamese. She got wild: she would hiss and scratch, and they took her to a farm. (My grandpa actually did, the same farm, he got his watermelons, he sold at his fruit stand.)

My first dog was a corgi named hopeless. She died when she got hit by a car . . . I was 7, my parents took it hard.

Mama was my second cat a miniature torishell, she had Orange, an orange tiger, who can open doors. She also had Joey (a grey tiger) and Roshell (torishell) who cuddled with each other.

Our second dog was a Keeshond, Bear, a grey fuzzy winter dog, hair everywhere. . . Who knocked down the Christmas tree the first day home as a puppy. It was sad to see him go. We had him 15 years, easy.

My dad go more corgis, were had four in the last ten years. One of the claimed my youngest brother. Ten years later, he had to put her down. It was hard, but it made him tough.

I had one of my favorite Mona a miniature caico, who loved my brother’s cat Dirty Dog, an orange tiger. (My brother has claimed all orange cats.) He was originally Sir Doughnut after eating an entire doughnut bigger than he was after eating weed when he was a kitten. Dirty would talk to me and would argue with Mona. my mom would feed Dirty, but he would burping my brother’s face.

I loved the other cats I had Sybelle who thought she was better than all, and Armand who was brother to Mona. Armand ran away.

I had MoMo for almost a year, but she by herself had anxiety whenever I would leave to do errands. So I sent her to a family that had other cats, because she needed to know that she was not alone.

My current cat that I miss is elmo. I helped heal him with an eye infection.

I am currently in a living situation in which I cannot have a cat. They help my anxiety, and I can cuddle with them.

We have a stray, I also call Mama. We got someone to take her kittens, but they said she was too wild, but I’m not supposed to feed her. It kills me.

I don’t want kids.

However I do want a few fur babies. I hope to find a guy who love cats and some dogs like I do. Someone who will help take care of them and let them sleep with us in bed.

I hope to get out of my live-in situation soon, so I can have my cats again.
They help me with my anxiety and depression. They are not just my fur babies, but my friends. They are the third thing that makes me happy. . . (1. Writing, 2. Good food, 3. Cats)