I know at four doctors I need to schedule in. . . Maybe four if I need a specialist for my hands. ( They keep swelling, and my joints hurt. It hurts sometimes to hold a pen or fork.)
I’m doing camp Nano but I’m only giving myself a word count of 30,000 for my main goal. It’s only 1k per day. I thinkmi can type that. I did 35,000 both last August and November. I how to write a book of short stories. I talk more about it in my writers blog. . . Rebekah Quinne
I also hope to walk at least three times a week. I want to get in better shape and get more energy. I’m hoping to sleep better from it and get more focus.
The thing is I’m doing this for me. I’ve learned that I need to focus on myself and heal myself before I can help others.
I hate snow and my body hates cold. My joints are achy. My head is pounding and I’m so tired . . . My body cannot relax.
I miss walking. I miss warm breezes.
I wish I could live in a place that was mostly sunny. . . 70`s during the day and 50`s at night. However no snakes, bugs, spiders, or bees. (I know we need those for flowers to grow, but I am more of a city girl anyway, not a farm/country girl. I just want to be able to go outside for a long walk and worry about ice.)
The problem is that most people want that too so it would belong the rich for vacation escapes.
It honestly only exists in my dreams. . . Sighs.
After my semi vanilla relations, (Oct to Dec (2017)) . . . I’ve learned I cannot not go vanilla, but I do want to date and cuddle.
I want a positive, ambitious submissive boyfriend. (I do not want a mindless drone or a complainer.)
However I’m slowly learning that life or fate will never put you in the wrong spot. I learned I need to let life do it’s thing. I should not push because I feel desperately lonely.
I’ve learned life will put in me in the right place, at the right time, even if I’m confused in the present.
I just need to do my thing and Mr. Right will be there when I probably least expect it.
Meanwhile I should enjoy my life: good writing, good family, and good friends.
I just to realize I will find that genuine people that I’m into, but they are not into me. I’m not everyone’s favorite soda-pop or cup of tea.
I simply need to move on and focus and believe life knows what it is doing.
I love to write. The feel of a good pen in my hands as it glides on the page. It invites the words, the color, the creativity.
However my hands have been swelling and cramping for weeks now. I tried water pills, but I sleep and they are swollen again. There are cramps as I write. Pushing down on my palm hurts, moving it too much hurts.
It hurts to hold a pen or a fork. It hurts to make a fist. These damn cramps. I probably have arthritis or carpal tunnel syndrome.
I refuse to give up my writing. I felt due my ear issue, I had give up music. I’m not giving up my writing too.
Maybe I can get my computer fixed soon . . . So I can type more.
I’m going to the doctor soon.
My sleep schedules are really off. . .
If I fall asleep between 7 pm and 9pm will be up by the latest 2am and my schedule is completely off.
Then I usually write 2am until 8 am and the light has known to give me migraines. Grrr.
However my body loves to sleep between the hours of 7am to 1pm (or if anyone wants to text me in the morning. )
If I get at least a good five to nine hours, I write well.
Ideally I would love to go to bed 3am and wake up by 10am and write 12pm to 5pm, but my muses have different ideas.
I try to find just a few hours for myself.
Can’t I just have six hours for out time and 18 hours of active time?
I’m usually tired all of the time.
I have to thank whom ever made caffeine my best friend. I love coffee and my Pepsi.
Things I’ve been up to. . .
- I went out three times this week, which was nice. However I’m exhausted and it’s the weekend, grrr.
- I worked on a release book. . . For my depression, anxiety, ptsd and spiritual so I can let go things and move on. . . I feel lighter and I’ve been sleeping better.
- I’ve made several friends which is nice.
- I’ve been trying to organize my writing.
- I’m also trying to figure out why computer cord keeps buzzing: I think it’s a mixture of a bad cord and broke fan either way I need to take it to a computer guy.
- My hands have swollen from writing so much. I think it’s carpal tunnel syndrome. . . Because water pills don’t always help and there is pain too. Bummer, huh?
- I have finished draft one of my thriller novella trilogy “Driving Lies.” I know I keep bragging, but it’s a project that about 150,000 words give or take divided into three parts that started as a corny thriller script I wrote as a teenager because I needed more action in my life.
- I’ve cooked a lot with the slow cooker.
I’ve been busy. I always try to stay busy.