What I want. . . (with a guy)


Be careful what you wish for

I was with a guy who is now my ex. We were together off and on for eight years. We had our good moments and a our bad. The last year was bad . . . I had extreme depression and anxiety which I am still working on. He was paying more attention to my friends than me. . . and slept with them both.


Then I wanted Karma to get him back to have him feel the way I did. . . cold, depressed, and alone.

I never wanted him to get sick. Please take my lesson and be careful what you wish for.


Now I do not think he can see his new girlfriend and she can’t see him, so maybe Karma gave me my wish. . . However I do not feel better about it.


Take It Back

I take back confession number  FOUR. . . https://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com/2016/05/17/confession-4/

  1. We were slipping away once I found out he lied.
  2. Then we just do not agree on many things. . . like what we really out.
  3. I also believed he had one thing on his mind (because he never seen to talk about anything else).

If some fates or deities need me to do something for him then put him on a plane and have him see me until then . . . he was just guy who want to chat and get his damn kicks off.

I am dropping my hands of this, and walking away.

He wasn’t my unicorn.

At now I have my own time to work on my writings.

Confession #4

I think I am currently in love with someone who is 2000 miles away.
I do not know if we will every meet and it sucks.
I have tried to talk to other guys, but none of them have the connection we do.
My family is not to keen on him, because he hasn’t been completely honest. I hope he has learned his lesson after pissing me off. I really do not want a catfish.
HOWEVER I keep getting drawn to him.  I don’t see celebrities in my daydreams anymore . . . just me and him. I see us together cooking, cleaning, cuddling and watching movies. . . that is all I am saying on here.

Maybe spiritual I’m supposed to do something. I feel this connection is beyond our controls. The fates see the bigger picture. . . something keeps pulling me to him.

My problem is I am growing very impatient with the distance between us. I hate the distance.

He isn’t physically want I want in my unicorn. He is sweet and I am drawn to him. . . I’m confused. Why? (Why are the fates drawing me to someone 2,000 miles away?)

Confession #3

I live currently live with family.(moved back in. . . very temporary)
I was living with my boyfriend (now ex) but then he cheated on me. It was more issues, for example: lack of support, than the actual cheating. It doesn’t matter, water under the bridge. . .

I live with five other people and things can be dramatic and crazy sometimes. I miss the quiet and my own time to blog and writing. I miss doing thing on my own, and making dinner and going to bed and waking whenever I want to.

I hope to have my own money and own place someday. 

Confession #2

I was born, raise and lived within a 20 mile triangle radius my whole life. I would love to get money and travel all over.

There are so many places I want to go to. . . Canada, Italy, France, England, Scotland, Japan, Australia, DisneyWorld,  L.A. more cruises. . .

I want a book deal for my entire book series (at least eight books) and travel with a book and lecture tour

When do I get to see the world?