I need to take better care of myself. . .

I have anxiety, depression, anemia, spleen and female issues. . .
I also need a lot of dental work done.
I had more tests and I feel a few answers.
Now I feel like the doctors are just pushing me off.
I have been trying to eat better, most of my soda-pop is diet.
I have been drinking more water and tea.
I have been losing weight. . . it’s been up and down 13 pounds.
I want to be healthy again and be able to get out and do some adventurous things.


I’m Not Playing Hard to get, I know I am

I know I am difficult, because I know what I want. . .
I also believe that what I want is a rarity in this world: some people call it a unicorn.
I just want someone to get me. . .
I want someone to understand my contradictions, to laugh at my corniness, to miss me when I am not there, to help me when I need it, to let me help them when they need it, and to just understand me.
I want them to know my moments. . . my sweetheart to my depression to my inner bitch.
You see . . .  what I want is a friend who I just talk to, someone who is truly there for me. We can just talk about each others day or problems.
I want someone with similar interests as me so we can talk about them. . . writing, reading, vampires, ghost, paranormal, Supernatural (TV show), True Blood (TV Show), cooking, baking, walking, painting, chatting, blogging, health issues, being a woman (for the other women out there) etc.

I am not looking to have “adult fun.”

I am not seeking marriage. I just got off an long relationship and I still processing.
I am not seeking to travel to a country that is more sand than people. (I have gotten offered. . . I do not like sand.)

I do not like camping, fishing, hunting, or that many outdoor things. . . (if someone was passionate enough and worked with me, I might try them.)

I am a city girl. I like shopping, going out to dinner, and movies. I am a foodie.
I am difficult with some people, because some people are just wasting both our time. If I have to say no, more than three times, I will block you.
I also have an age limit 21- 45

Love is a Rollercoaster

I am down. . . I waited all night for him. Just as I was about to give up and watch a movie . . .
Then he is one with one thing in mind. . . I am not into that one thing 24/7.

I finally feel better to chat and I think he fell asleep on me.

My family and friends have been kind of supportive. There are moments they make me worry. . . They just do not want to see me get hurt.

My heart has fallen for him, but brain remembers the pain I am still in.  My gut cannot tell what to do. I feel like I am on a freakin’ rollercoaster with him.

He has been talking to me every night. I just hope that it’s not just talk (but that is another blog.)

I think we have smoothed out the rollercoaster . . . for now.

Night of Living Links. . .

More links to blogs of me. . .

A little more about me. . .








My Addictions With pictures





Health issues including Anxiety and Depression





Drama and distraction (I guess, to be honest, they are one in the same with me.)




My Heaven



My Hell











So now I am torn, because I love someone, but my family has helped me with my break up and my health problems.
I don’t want to abandon my family, but I think want they want for me and what I want for myself are two different things.
All I want to do is want run, but I don’t want to him have to support me.

I have no idea what to do. .

What to do? What to do?

To-Do List This Weekend. . .

Clean out totes. . .

  1. Organize writings
  2. Go through diaries.
  3. Throw out what I do not need.
  4. Go through Books

Sweep Basement

Clean Kitty Litter

Feed Cats

Organize picture on my computer

Organize Flash Drive

Create Extra back ups

Work on diary

Draw and color for a while

Work on Blogs

  1. Writing Blog (3 entries)
  2. Webseries D. W. a G.
  3. Personal blog

Eat Lunch

Take meds


Talk to my sweetie


Coffee. Caffeine. Love.

I addicted to him . . .  whenever I taste coffee. I close my eyes and smile. The bittersweet taste makes me think of him. . . that is what is kiss should taste like. He says he drinks so much coffee . . .

Mmmmm Coffee.