I have anxiety, depression, anemia, spleen and female issues. . .
I also need a lot of dental work done.
I had more tests and I feel a few answers.
Now I feel like the doctors are just pushing me off.
I have been trying to eat better, most of my soda-pop is diet.
I have been drinking more water and tea.
I have been losing weight. . . it’s been up and down 13 pounds.
I want to be healthy again and be able to get out and do some adventurous things.
I know I am difficult, because I know what I want. . .
I also believe that what I want is a rarity in this world: some people call it a unicorn.
I just want someone to get me. . .
I want someone to understand my contradictions, to laugh at my corniness, to miss me when I am not there, to help me when I need it, to let me help them when they need it, and to just understand me.
I want them to know my moments. . . my sweetheart to my depression to my inner bitch.
You see . . . what I want is a friend who I just talk to, someone who is truly there for me. We can just talk about each others day or problems.
I want someone with similar interests as me so we can talk about them. . . writing, reading, vampires, ghost, paranormal, Supernatural (TV show), True Blood (TV Show), cooking, baking, walking, painting, chatting, blogging, health issues, being a woman (for the other women out there) etc.
I am not looking to have “adult fun.”
I am not seeking marriage. I just got off an long relationship and I still processing.
I am not seeking to travel to a country that is more sand than people. (I have gotten offered. . . I do not like sand.)
I do not like camping, fishing, hunting, or that many outdoor things. . . (if someone was passionate enough and worked with me, I might try them.)
I am a city girl. I like shopping, going out to dinner, and movies. I am a foodie.
I am difficult with some people, because some people are just wasting both our time. If I have to say no, more than three times, I will block you.
I also have an age limit 21- 45
I am down. . . I waited all night for him. Just as I was about to give up and watch a movie . . .
Then he is one with one thing in mind. . . I am not into that one thing 24/7.
I finally feel better to chat and I think he fell asleep on me.
My family and friends have been kind of supportive. There are moments they make me worry. . . They just do not want to see me get hurt.
My heart has fallen for him, but brain remembers the pain I am still in. My gut cannot tell what to do. I feel like I am on a freakin’ rollercoaster with him.
He has been talking to me every night. I just hope that it’s not just talk (but that is another blog.)
I think we have smoothed out the rollercoaster . . . for now.
So now I am torn, because I love someone, but my family has helped me with my break up and my health problems.
I don’t want to abandon my family, but I think want they want for me and what I want for myself are two different things.
All I want to do is want run, but I don’t want to him have to support me.
I have no idea what to do. .
To-Do List This Weekend. . .
Clean out totes. . .
- Organize writings
- Go through diaries.
- Throw out what I do not need.
- Go through Books
Clean Kitty Litter
Organize picture on my computer
Organize Flash Drive
Create Extra back ups
Work on diary
Draw and color for a while
Work on Blogs
- Writing Blog (3 entries)
- Webseries D. W. a G.
- Personal blog
Talk to my sweetie
I addicted to him . . . whenever I taste coffee. I close my eyes and smile. The bittersweet taste makes me think of him. . . that is what is kiss should taste like. He says he drinks so much coffee . . .
I gave you eight years of my life, and you repay me with abandonment and heartache. I have two words for you . . . F*** YOU!
I’ve learned some things. . .