I have anxiety, depression, anemia, spleen and female issues. . .
I also need a lot of dental work done.
I had more tests and I feel a few answers.
Now I feel like the doctors are just pushing me off.
I have been trying to eat better, most of my soda-pop is diet.
I have been drinking more water and tea.
I have been losing weight. . . it’s been up and down 13 pounds.
I want to be healthy again and be able to get out and do some adventurous things.
Month: March 2016
I’m Not Playing Hard to get, I know I am
I know I am difficult, because I know what I want. . .
I also believe that what I want is a rarity in this world: some people call it a unicorn.
I just want someone to get me. . .
I want someone to understand my contradictions, to laugh at my corniness, to miss me when I am not there, to help me when I need it, to let me help them when they need it, and to just understand me.
I want them to know my moments. . . my sweetheart to my depression to my inner bitch.
You see . . . what I want is a friend who I just talk to, someone who is truly there for me. We can just talk about each others day or problems.
I want someone with similar interests as me so we can talk about them. . . writing, reading, vampires, ghost, paranormal, Supernatural (TV show), True Blood (TV Show), cooking, baking, walking, painting, chatting, blogging, health issues, being a woman (for the other women out there) etc.
I am not looking to have “adult fun.”
I am not seeking marriage. I just got off an long relationship and I still processing.
I am not seeking to travel to a country that is more sand than people. (I have gotten offered. . . I do not like sand.)
I do not like camping, fishing, hunting, or that many outdoor things. . . (if someone was passionate enough and worked with me, I might try them.)
I am a city girl. I like shopping, going out to dinner, and movies. I am a foodie.
I am difficult with some people, because some people are just wasting both our time. If I have to say no, more than three times, I will block you.
I also have an age limit 21- 45
Love is a Rollercoaster
I am down. . . I waited all night for him. Just as I was about to give up and watch a movie . . .
Then he is one with one thing in mind. . . I am not into that one thing 24/7.
I finally feel better to chat and I think he fell asleep on me.
My family and friends have been kind of supportive. There are moments they make me worry. . . They just do not want to see me get hurt.
My heart has fallen for him, but brain remembers the pain I am still in. My gut cannot tell what to do. I feel like I am on a freakin’ rollercoaster with him.
He has been talking to me every night. I just hope that it’s not just talk (but that is another blog.)
I think we have smoothed out the rollercoaster . . . for now.
Night of Living Links. . .
More links to blogs of me. . .
A little more about me. . .
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/secrets-vs-privacy/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/this-is-who-i-am-in-a-nut-shell/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/what-i-think-of-me/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/who-i-am-the-harsh-truth/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/10/14/a-few-surveys/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/another-survey/
My Addictions With pictures
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/common-addiction/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/my-therapeutic-addiction/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/09/28/my-favorite-20-foods-that-i-make-at-home/
Health issues including Anxiety and Depression
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/04/17/shadow-on-the-sunny-side-of-the-street/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/28/is-there-hope/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/health-issues/
Drama and distraction (I guess, to be honest, they are one in the same with me.)
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/tapped-out/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/slowly-fading-away/
My Heaven
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/levels-of-heaven/
My Hell
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/03/10/my-ten-levels-of-hell/
Torn
So now I am torn, because I love someone, but my family has helped me with my break up and my health problems.
I don’t want to abandon my family, but I think want they want for me and what I want for myself are two different things.
All I want to do is want run, but I don’t want to him have to support me.
I have no idea what to do. .
What to do? What to do?
To-Do List This Weekend. . .
Clean out totes. . .
- Organize writings
- Go through diaries.
- Throw out what I do not need.
- Go through Books
Sweep Basement
Clean Kitty Litter
Feed Cats
Organize picture on my computer
Organize Flash Drive
Create Extra back ups
Work on diary
Draw and color for a while
Work on Blogs
- Writing Blog (3 entries)
- Webseries D. W. a G.
- Personal blog
Eat Lunch
Take meds
Dishes
Talk to my sweetie
Coffee. Caffeine. Love.
I addicted to him . . . whenever I taste coffee. I close my eyes and smile. The bittersweet taste makes me think of him. . . that is what is kiss should taste like. He says he drinks so much coffee . . .
Mmmmm Coffee.
Closing Notes (Ex Edition)
I gave you eight years of my life, and you repay me with abandonment and heartache. I have two words for you . . . F*** YOU!
I’ve learned some things. . .
The Missing Links. . .
Links to blogs of me. . .
Before I turned http://Rebekah1213.wordpress.com into my fictional blog. . . I had some personal posts. . . I thought I would link them up here.
A little about me. . .
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/06/07/14-day-challenge-day-1-autobiography/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/12/29/i-am-complicated/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/05/01/past-and-future/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/07/26/bittersweet-memories-eh/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/08/12/123/
Pictures
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/01/17/my-new-hair/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/10/09/my-hair-colors/
Things that are important to me. . .
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/07/29/14-day-writing-challenge-day-13-what-do-i-love/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/06/13/14-day-writing-challenge-day-7/
This is about my anxiety and depression. . .
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/07/27/14-day-challenge-day-11-defunked/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/06/19/back-to-your-show-after-this-message/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/07/21/kind-of-personal-doctor-issues/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/07/21/this-what-what-is-it-like-with-depression-and-anxiety/
Drama and distraction (I guess, to be honest, they are one in the same with me.)
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/06/24/drama-still-goes-on/ https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/06/10/14-day-writing-challenge-day-4/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/06/11/14-day-writing-challenge-day-6-feelings/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/i-just-need-to-rant/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/releasing-distractions/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/06/02/worst-hospital-visit/
https://rebekah1213.wordpress.com/2014/10/09/i-think-drama-queens-were-just-girls/
In my head 