I feel like the Gain laundry soap commercial. . . “How do I get over her? She left month ago!”
It’s been 8 months (Tom’s, my ex, birthday month). I’ll be honest, he crushed me. However the shattered pieces of my heart still have memories and extreme emotion on them. (I need emotional cleansing. The thing was if he was still alive, I would have not gotten back with him. We are two different people.)
I feel bad he died young. (He would have been 37 on the 17th.)
However all of these things we would have really enjoyed are popping up everywhere.
- He was a “Dark Tower” fan.
- True Blood writers made a new show Midnight, Texas.
- WWE has a new tap wrestling game.
I know there is more. I can’t think right now. How am I supposed get over when I’m around all of the things he likes?
Things that make me happy
- Getting an a long e-mail
- Good Sex with lots of foreplay
- Hours of unbothered writing
- Writing 10,000 words in a day
- Finishing (reading) a good book
- A story with a good twist
- Not being able to predict something
- Going out
- Helping others
- Making others happy
- Cuddling with someone nice during a movie
- Kissing and making out
- Getting actual mail: letters and package
- Bubble bath
- Having energy
- A nice walk
- Lots of pillows and comfy bed
- Good night sleep
- Talking all night
- Going to the zoo
- Good Morning Greeting
- Spooning: I like the inner spoon
- A good tone male hairless chest
- A fit six pack ab
- Bright blue or blue-green eyes
- A nice smile
- Hair on the a guy’s head that I can run my hand through
- A night of card or board games with friends
Health wise . . . I have felt like I’ve been stuck upside on a rollercoaster. I mean I get a good energy day like the other day. . . I wrote over 4000 words, made dinner, help straighten the place up, made coffee, and helped with whatever anyone needed. Then all day yesterday I was drained. . . I could barely get out of bed.
I hate it when I over do myself on a high energy Why can’t I ever just have energy and get good sleep to do it again the next day? I mean on my draining days there are times even coffee doesn’t help.
One good day and I can be down for a day, a few days or even a week. When I am drain but up I get headaches and I feel like a zombie trying to focus. Grrr.
Between my zombie insomnia and my rough sleep apnea: a good night sleep is hard.
Why me? It makes it really hard to focus.
I just saw the movie and read all three books . . . I’m reading book 4 Grey by EL James. I need to see the second movie. . . DaMn. Christian Grey. . .
It has opened me up creative wise. . . yay!
2016 was a very challenging year. I felt really stuck and trapped this year, so I really didn’t feel I accomplished that much. I mean I didn’t even finish a book: writing or reading. However I have learned a lot about myself.
My writing accomplishments link here. . . https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2016/12/30/what-happened-in-2016/
Things I accomplished in 2016
- I am working more on a day schedule. Eh, I know, but maybe I can figure out where to get more writing and editing in.
- I have gone to the doctor myself.
- I have gone to therapy by myself.
- I feel I have more energy.
Things I have learned in 2016
- I loved flavored coffee. (Mocha, coconut, caramel vanilla, and Chocolate raspberry are my favorite.)
- My cat will look all over the house when I am gone.
- I miss my cat very much.
- Therapy really works as long as you are open and honest with the therapist and yourself.
- I like cats sometimes better than people.
- I would be a good vet assistant or care-giver.
- I have less anxiety when I am busy.
- I live and deal better when I am on my own.
- I can do chores better when I am by myself (at my own time and doing it my own way.)
- I’m sorry, but I am not a baby or kid person. (I rather have a fur-baby that purrs.)
- I have learned I hate to be controlled or told what to do. I do NOT deal with authority well.
- Distance is just a number when love is involved. (still makes me sad my “wolfie” is not here.)
- I secretly like to fold towels and peel potatoes.
- I do not like being treated like a 15 year old who needs a babysitter.
- Not driving really limits me. (But I am terrified of getting in an accident again.)
Have a crush: Yes
Have a bestfriend: A few really good friends
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Yes
What’s your boyfriend/girlfriend name: River
Want a boyfriend/girlfriend: I have one
Want a new bestfriend: I like to have some more friends
Do you prefer:
Cats or dogs: Cats
Purple or blue: Purple
Choc or vanilla: Chocolate
Books or movies: Both
Being asleep or awake: I wish I didn’t have to sleep
Snuck out: No
Been Suspended: no
Felt lonely: yes
Cried your self to sleep: yes
Gone to sleep with your clothes on: yes
Littered: I try not to
Fav TV shows: Big Bang or Chopped
Fav book: Currently Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles
Fav subjects: Music, and English
Fav food: Currently sushi, pizza, soups, and lasagna
Cheat: No. I am extremely loyal to a fault
Kill an animal: I prefer to go to the store for my meat. I don’t think I could kill an animal other than a spider.
Sneak out: a moment to myself.
Break into a shop: No
Scared to lose someone: yes
Scared of the clowns: do not like them (thank you Stephen King)
Scared of dying: Not much anymore
Scared of heights: yes
Scared of Spiders: I do not like them
Do you think:
People talk about you behind your back: Yes
Someone loves you (not including family): Yes
Someone hates you: I have my enemies
Someone secretly wants to date you: Maybe
Today I was in the mall and Walmart. . . normally no big deal but it was Black Friday.
They were not as crowded as I thought they would be.
I always thought it was like war and crazy people fighting each other for the last whatever was on sale. Maybe the movies make too much of the craziness. I never went shopping on Black Friday, because I thought the crowds would be crazy, the lines be long, and there would have been more violence. I didn’t want to get into a fight just because you save 40% on an item.
It was not like that at all, people were helpful, no fights, and lines were shorter than I thought. I did get a few gifts bought which was nice.
I even got to hang out with an old friend who is family and his beautiful fiancee and we also got china buffet. Sushi! Yum.