19 Unknown things about me

19 random FACTS about yourself that may surprise people.
1. Do you make your bed everyday? No

2. What’s your favorite​ number? 13

3. What is your dream job? I’m trying to do it, haven’t gotten paid yet. 

4. If you could, would you go back to school? Maybe

5. Can you parallel park? I can operate a car, but I get freaked out with other cars on the road. 

6. A job you had which people would be shocked that you once held? I got paid to keep quiet once, I gave them a refund. Lol

7. Do you think aliens are real? They may be, I have no personal evidence 

8. Can you drive a stick shift? Kind of 

9. Guilty pleasure? Chocolate, flavored coffee, bubble baths, and soda

10. Tattoos? Not yet, considering

11. Favorite color? Purple, black, silver, and crimson.

12. Things people do that drive you insane? Dressing up pets

13. Phobia/fear? Pregnancy, getting in a car accident, and ending up homeless

14. Favorite childhood game? Life

16. Do you like doing puzzles? Yes like tetris 

17. Favorite Music? Rock and pop

18. Tea or Coffee? Coffee

19. First thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? Singer


40 things about me

​40 interesting things about me.

1. Do you like blue cheese? No

2. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

3. Do you own a gun? No

4. What flavor Kool-aid? Fruit punch

5. What do you think of hot dogs? Best on grill

6. Favorite TV show? Big bang theory, Dharma and Greg, 2 broke girls, and criminal minds

7. Favorite movie? Forest Gump, interview with a vampire, beetljuice

8. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee 

9. Can you do a push up? If I have to. 

10. Favorite piece of of jewelry? I don’t wear any. 

11. Do you have a hobby? Writing and cooking

12. Do you have A.D.D. ? No

13. Do you wear glasses? Yes –

14. Favorite cartoon character? Tom and Jerry, tigger

15. Three things I did yesterday? Chatted, wrote a scene in my novel, and cooked. 

16. Three drinks you drink regularly? Coffee, Pepsi, hot tea

17. Current worries? That I am never going to find someone I have a true connection with 

18. Current dislikes? stupid people, lairs, and cat/dog haters

19. Favorite place to go? I currently don’t have a real place, but I love the secret place in my head. 

20. How did you bring in the new year? In the hospital supporting my dying ex

21. Where would you like to go? England, Scotland, Ireland, France, Italy, and Solvika

22. Name five people who will do this? I have no idea. 

23. Childhood hero? Anne Rice

24. Favorite color? Purple, black, silver, and crimson

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets ? I like the idea

26. Can you whistle? Yes

27. Where are you now? home 

28. Would you be a pirate? No

29. Favorite food? Italian

30. Favorite time of the day? Night

31. 3 wishes? Enough money, I will never worry over bills, completely furnished house, and success with my writing

32. What are you thinking right now? I should get some sleep. 

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Someone trying to hit on me

34. Favorite animal? Cats 

35. What’s your most current injury? Cat scratch from kitten I rescued. 

36. How many tv’s are in your house? 2

37. Worst pain ever? Migraine and my cramps

38. Do you like to dance? Only when no one is looking

39. Are your parents still alive? Yes

40. Do you love life? Pieces and moments

November all for me. 

I am not a selfish person, but next month is all about me. I am working on my writing and hopefully myself. 

My goal is in 2018 to move forward and away from my past.

I have two projects. . .  (Each project is 50,000 in 30 days)

  1. Finishing the The Broken Path 50,000 plus. 
  2. Working on the ghost stories for the Broken Path.

    I hope to figure myself out and do something for me, write. 

    My Top Favorite Movies and Shows

    My All-time favorite movies

    (If I had only to choose ten movies to watch over and over again. . .)

    1. Forest Gump (Drama)
    2. Interview with a Vampire (Horror)
    3. Beetlejuice (Comedy)
    4. The Notebook (Chick flick)
    5. The Fight Club (action, guy movie)
    6. Shriek if you know what I did last Friday the 13th (Comedy)
    7. The Crow (Horror)
    8. Sixth Sense (Horror)
    9. Dead Pool (Action)
    10. Star Wars Episode 3 (SciFi and Action)


    Honorable mentions

    1. Titanic (Chick Flick, Drama)
    2. Repo! The Genetic Opera (Horror, Musical)
    3. Up (Animated)
    4. Shrek (Animated)
    5. Gone in 60 Second (Older version) (Action)
    6. Little Mermaid (Animated)
    7. Avenger movies (Action)
    8. Ironman movies (Action)
    9. Central intelligence (Comedy)
    10. Money Pit (Comedy)
    11. Bucket List (Drama)
    12. Transylvania(animated) (animated)
    13. Fast and the Furious movies (action)
    14. Wall-E (animated)
    15. Butterfly Effect/Donnie Darko (Suspense)


    Current favorite TV Shows


    1. Big Bang Theory                                              (Sitcom)
    2. Guy’s Grocery Games (Cooking)
    3. Catfish (Reality)
    4. 2 Broke Girls (Sitcom)
    5. The Middle (Sitcom)
    6. Girl Meets World (Sitcom)
    7. Rising Hope (Sitcom)
    8. Criminal Minds (Drama)
    9. The Simpsons (animated)
    10. Chopped                                                                                                          (Cooking)


    Honorable Mentions

    1. American Horror Story (Suspense)
    2. Myth Busters (reality)
    3. Ghost Adventures (Suspense)
    4. Dharma and Greg (Sitcom)
    5. 1000 Ways to die (Suspense)
    6. Supernatural (Seasons 1-8) (Suspense)
    7. Smallville (Drama)
    8. Family Guy (Animated)
    9. Haven (Suspense)
    10. The Chew (Cooking)
    11. Angie Tribecca                                                                                                           (Sitcom)
    12. 3 Strooges (Black and White) (Sitcom)
    13. Haunted or My Haunted House (Suspense)
    14. Two and half men (Sitcom)
    15. Cooks VS Cons or Beat Bobby Flay (Cooking)

    Depression strikes again. 

    I’m exhausted. Sleep only happens in single cycles of 3 hours maybe more, here and there.

    I’ve had nightmares, panic attacks and depression fighting me all weekend. 

    Nightmares of being abandoned and lost and confused.  (My chest is getting tight just thinking of it.)

    Past coming back to literally haunt me, but migraines beating me instead. Past on hold. 

    Chest heavy, breathing hard, panic catching in my throat. 

    Stomach turns, food comes from helping hands, but doesn’t help.  

    That is my weekend. I did manage to get to write pieces here and there. There is a light. 

    What I want. . . In texting. . .

    I want my submissive boyfriend cuddly, obedient, and semi-clingy. 
    I want to hear from them several times throughout the day.
    I’m not a morning person BUT I love morning messages. . .
    Like. . .
    “I woke up this morning and thought of you. . .”
    “I had a wild dream of you. ”
    “Wish you were talking a shower with me ”

    OR day time messages. . .
    “Just got out of work. . . Thing of you.”
    “Wish you were here”
    “Hugs and/or kisses”

    I sleep better with night messages
    “Wish you were here to cuddle with me”
    “Wanted to wish you a good night”
    “Miss you honey”

    It’s obedience to keep constant with the texting, but I want them to mean it. (I’m not into guys  who don’t communicate.)

    I want a guy who thinks of me and excited to be with me. I know that guys can be interested in more that just naughty things because I’ve had a few who were interested in me for me. Time and distance pulled us apart. Sigh.

    Rolls eyes

    I suck. . .

    At playing it cool.

    I bite my tongue when he asks if I am ok as I am afraid I would chase him away with everything in my head. He doesn’t want to hear my true feelings, he barely texts he misses me. 

    He doesn’t want to hear that I am freaking out because I feel like he rather be somewhere else 9 times out 10 we text. Or that I’m freaking out because I do not feel I am good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, quiet enough, strict/dominant enough.  . . He wants to me to demand him what to do, how to do it and simply be happy with that. 

    He is out bettering himself. I cannot even get up to get a can of soda. I made dinner, but didn’t finish my fantasy football list. I feel completely deflated and not worthy.

    I cannot sleep.

    My mind will not stop.

    All I do is freak out.

    I’m loud and cannot play it cool. 

    What is wrong with me?

    Therapy exercise

    I was asked “Where do I see myself in a year?” 

    This year, from Sept (2016) to Sept (2017), I’ve learned that so much can change in the year. 

    • By next Sept (2018), I hope to have my thriller novella trilogy being sold in real book stores. 
    • I also hope to help my mom and brother have their own place with two cats.
    • I hope I am with a great guy who gets me, but that is icing on the cake. 

    My goal is to put my past behind me and build my confidence. 

    Where do I see myself in 5 years?”

    (When I was in therapy, I had said I wanted to be with a guy, I found out was a catfish.) I realize I need  to focus on me. 

    • I hope to be on book tours and lectures and selling my books.
    • I hope my family is taken care of.
    • I hope to be with someone, but again it is icing on the cake. 

    I try to focus a day at a time, not to look at the future. I get anxious thinking about it. 


    Health vs reality

    Yesterday was a challenge to get out of bed.  I hate my life like that. I don’t need bitter, harsh people having me to jump into reality. . . They will piss me off and make me hug my pillows harder.

    However I simply need someone excited about life and telling me “let’s take one step at a time.” I want them to tell me “getting out of bed is a baby step, help me with dinner, and then we’ll go shopping or watch a movie.”

    I have goals and dreams. I have things I want to accomplish in my life. I feel I really need support getting there. . .

    My health issues are not always visible. Last night out of nowhere, after several really good days, I was completely down and out. I felt like nothing had meaning. My writing had no value and I felt depressed and empty. I hate that deflated feeling. . . Like deflated balloon in a dried up mud puddle. 

    Normally, I know my triggers, but I’m getting depressed without trigger. It’s starting to scare me.

    I just want to get better. A site that helps me http://www.7cups.com/21800318