I can rant and go on and on, but my brain still will not stop. This has caused me insomnia and . ..
I’ve tried. . . .
- breathing exercises, in 1-2-3 and out 1-2-3
- Turning off the TV
- Cutting down on my caffeine after 4
I’m still up 5 out 7 nights a week with my everlasting thoughts.
- Health issues, when will I get fixed
- Why do my hormones keep making me a b*tch?
- Food issues is there ever enough
- Why do I feel so useless? I do help with errands, and cooking
- Writing scheduling
- Errand scheduling
- Sleep issues and why I cannot sleep when I supposed to.
- Guys vs what I want
- Hope’s and dreams vs depression
This what my head is like . . .
My ideal day would be
8:30 Wakes up after hitting snooze twice. Get breakfast with coffee
9:00 Works out on indoor bike
9:45 Lotion, priming body
10:00 Checking email, research and notes or outlines for writing or errands
12:30 writing my blogs, novels
4:30 make dinner, or errands
6:30 have dinner and clean up.
7:00 Be with family or boyfriend before bed, TV, games etc
11:30 Research, read, and relax before bed, maybe a bath
1:30 go to bed.
When I get stressed I easily get sick and/or drained. Over this last week I have been up and down. Yesterday was hard on me. . . plans got cancelled. My medical insurance has issues now everything is pushed back and my anxiety is on high. My body fights between insomnia and bad sleep from sleep apnea.
I crashed only to eat dinner at 9 last night. I was exhausted eating I was careful not to choke. However I went for a walk last night to get candy and coffee (that would be my autobiography be called “Candy and Coffee.”) I walked home took like three sips of my coffee put in the fridge and thought about it all night even in my twisted dreams.
My brother went to hand me it this morning, and it slipped and spilled all over the carpet . . .damn it. It just fits into the ahhhhh theme this week. Okay back to rotating water and Pepsi.
Tomorrow is a new day and this are going to to get better.