Day 26: When was the last time you were too hard on yourself? What do you think you could have done to treat and comfort yourself instead?
It was last February, I told by this guy I had met before, he was going to be at a diner we were meeting at, so I ordered a quesadilla waiting for him. He never showed and I had to use my family’s laundry money for that week.
I didn’t get another for myself for months as by felt bad. I haven’t been on a date since as I feel if I cant afford to take myself out, then I can’t date.
My family barely makes it was into week, I don’t feel I can comfort myself until My health is better and In have no idea when that is.
Day 27: What is the main barrier to you having positive self-esteem? How can you break free from it?
My current living situation and health issues, energy, weight, and loneliness are my barriers from me seeing thing in a constant positive outlook in life.
I feel my landlords keep putting rule after rule (some I feel are unjustified), I feel smothered. Now they are posting that they can deny it kick a person out for any reason. (My family pays on time, but I’m very moody and opinionated and I’m afraid one I’m going to blow up emotionally and get my family kicked out. I feel like my mood swing make me unlikable and unattractive.)
My other health issues have made me more introverted . . . I’ve been called bad and mean names for my weight and it hurts. Ive been struggling to lose weight because of the hormones I’m on.
I also felt like a failure because I couldn’t appease or make other family members proud. I’ve always been a black sheep, but I currently said screw it, I’m me, I love my writing, and it’s not my job to make others happy. The only person I can make happy is me.
note: I have been seeing doctors and I am working on my health. I hope by next year to get out more.