Self challenge: Day 1

I’m taking part in 31 day self challenge. . . From http://www.7cups.com

That I posted here. . . https://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com/2018/10/01/im-trying-to-better-myself-2/

Day 1: Self Esteem Challenge – List 10 things that you love about yourself. (Physical or personality)

1. My writing http://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com

2. My musical ability

3. Giving nature

4. Strength

5. Control

6. Endurance

7. My hope

8. Sense of humor

9. My hair

10. My eyes

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I’m trying to better myself

I go to a therapy site that has helped quite a bit http://www.7cups.com

I will admit if I could afford in would try a few of the therapist there and maybe a few new paths.

I’m on the free account and forums really help, the path and the listeners sometime help. However I usually get good feedback and encouragement on the forums.

On one of forums they have a monthly challenge for positivity and building yourself up.

I’m going to post my answers on their and here. I’m going to try daily.

The challenge is over 31 days, each day presenting a new task, encouraging us to value ourselves and recognize our skills and qualities. The tasks include:

Day 1, October 1: List 10 things that you love about yourself. (Physical or personality)

Day 2: List 5 things that make you smile or happy.

Day 3: What is one fear or goal that you would like to conquer?

Day 4: What do you do to feel better when you’re having a bad day?

Day 5: What’s your proudest accomplishment?

Day 6: What are some obstacles that are preventing you from accomplishing your goals? What will you do to overcome them?

Day 7: Do you think you care too much about what others think? If so how can you change that?

Day 8: What is a food you enjoy that makes you feel good?

Day 9: Do you have genuine respect for yourself and who you are as an individual? And if not, how can you change that?

Day 10: Are you happy with your “inner person”? If so, why or why not?

Day 11: Is your self-talk negative or positive? If it is negative, what are some more positive ways to talk to yourself?

Day 12: What’s the last thing you did that made you feel proud of yourself? Why did it make you feel this way?

Day 13: Share about the last time you felt confident in yourself. Why did you feel that confident?

Day 14: Is there someone in your life who makes you feel good about yourself? If so, who and why?

Day 15: Do you like your personal appearance? If so, why? If not, what are some ways you could view yourself differently?

Day 16: Do you have makeup, clothing or an accessory that makes you feel positive about yourself? If so what is it, and how does it make you feel positive?

Day 17: What do you do to feel calmer when you’re stressed?

Day 18: Do you like the way you talk? If so, why? If not, how can you view it more positively?

Day 19: Do you have an activity that makes you feel alive and good within yourself?

Day 20: Has your self-esteem improved with doing this challenge so far during the month? If so, how? If not, why not?

Day 21: Name at least 5 things that you are good at.

Day 22: Which of your skills or abilities to you pride yourself on?

Day 23: What is your ideal outcome of this challenge?

Day 24: Do you compare yourself to others? How can you be more focused on yourself?

Day 25: If you met a person that was just like you, would you like them? If so, why? If not, how could you view the person more positively?

Day 26: When was the last time you were too hard on yourself? What do you think you could have done to treat and comfort yourself instead?

Day 27: What is the main barrier to you having positive self-esteem? How can you break free from it?

Day 28: What do you consider to be healthy self-esteem? Does this match the dictionary definition of healthy self-esteem?

Day 29: What do you think of your teeth and your smile? Do you like them and if so, why? If not, how can you view them more positively?

Day 30: Validation is important to our self-esteem. Do others encourage you? If not, what are some ways that you can ask them to so your self-esteem is improved?

Day 31: Rate your self-esteem on a scale of 1-10? Has your self-esteem improved?

Note: All of the credit goes to http://www.7cups.com

So tired

Why am I so tired? Coffee only works sometimes, sigh!

Why don’t I have energy?

I wake up, eat, do some phone calls, take meds, and go back to bed. Sighs!

5 hour energy shots help as long as I drink enough. However the crash is hard!

I hate my sleep issues….apnea and anemia. Between the both, I feel I have permanent mono.

How can I get daily energy?

Weird

Since I accidentally posted on my previous blog, I’ve gotten more readers, so I’m doing more blogs on that blog. (More fan fiction, maybe personal stories, poems, rants etc)

I’m in my own world, but its ok they know me there

I do plan to work on blog series about online dating on this blog.

I also will work on my muses on my writing blog.

author blog Rebekah Quinne

So please check out all three blogs.

August will be my blog writing month.

ZZZ’s

I do enjoy sleep when I have good dreams and the air is just right not too hot or too cold. The blanket is comfy and smells good. I wake up actually feeling refreshed.

This usually only happens maybe 1 time out every 50.

I usually wake up stiff, tired or exhausted (like I didn’t sleep at all). I’ve either hot, cold, in pain, with a headache. . . Or have to wake up due to my bladder or panic attack or choking with breathing problems.

Sometimes I can sleep for 12 hours and feel like I had not slept all. Sometimes I can run all day on four good hours of sleep, again, this is rare. My depression makes me want to sleep even more and not get out of bed.

I have sleep apnea where I do not get enough air in or out. I snore very loud, get dry mouth, grind my teeth, wake up with jaw pain, and headaches.

Apnea makes me wake up choking, my lips to be blue due to lack of oxygen, my head is foggy and it’s hard to focus, my eyes twitch, my eyes are heavy. I get migraines and my stomach don’t settle.

My animea makes me exhausted. I was so tired from the lack of blood cells that I have choked on my food several times.

Caffeine or lack of caffeine really screws me up. If I drink coffee or energy (no ginsing) at the wrong times and my day and night schedules are off.

My anxiety fills my head will ideas and I’m up with insomnia, but I am usually a zombie.

With all of these problems sleep is hard for me.

Recent Sleep schedule

Note: I’ve tried to keep coffee stopped by 6pm and soda by 10pm. 

Dec 1 2am to 8:15 9:20 to 10:35       choppy and feels exhausted

Dec 2 4am to 12:15pm                       still exhausted. Choked a few times

Dec 3 1:30am to 6:15 and   6:45 to  8:15 and   9 to 12 very choppy and foggy,                                                                 headache, and crampy
Dec 4 12:15 to 8:05am and 9:15 to 12:35  exhausted, hard to get up 

Dec 5 2:30 to 8:15 and 9:15 to 11:15      bad dream, tossed and turn alot

Dec 6 1:35 to 8:35  and 9:15 to 11 and 11:35 to 1. Foggy, exhausted

Dec 7 1:45 to 10:55 and 11to 1 and 4:45 to 715 could not stay awake

Dec 8 3am to 11:30                                  very choppy sleep

Dec 9 2:45 to 1:15                                     not super tired but foggy
The more I sleep through the night, the better I am. 

Between, hormonal issues, sleep apnea, headaches, depression, and other mental issues. . . My sleep just is not balanced. 

Sleep issues: Sleep Apnea

It sucks. I have sleep apnea-it means that my throat does not open properly or let me inhale enough air. I snore hard and I gasp and choke from lack of oxygen.

Things that happen when you don’t get quality sleep. . .

  1.  Always exhausted
  2. Headaches 
  3. Blue lips from lack of oxygen
  4. Rings or begs under the eyes
  5. Dizzy
  6. Sick easier
  7. Hard to focus

All I want to do is to stay in bed and watch tv if Ican focus at all. It’s impossible to keep a steady job, which makes me feel like a failure and makes my depression higher. (Even now I forced myself out of bed, I’m fighting a headache, and I’m pushing myself to type.)

 I’ve tried so many things. . .

  1. Three or more pillows, helps to a point. 
  2. Fan
  3. Sleeping in a recliner
  4. Sleeping at different times a day

 I am currently in the process of fixing with my doctor over it.