Things that make me happy
- Getting an a long e-mail
- Good Sex with lots of foreplay
- Hours of unbothered writing
- Writing 10,000 words in a day
- Finishing (reading) a good book
- A story with a good twist
- Not being able to predict something
- Going out
- Helping others
- Making others happy
- Cuddling with someone nice during a movie
- Kissing and making out
- Getting actual mail: letters and package
- Bubble bath
- Having energy
- A nice walk
- Lots of pillows and comfy bed
- Good night sleep
- Talking all night
- Going to the zoo
- Good Morning Greeting
- Spooning: I like the inner spoon
- A good tone male hairless chest
- A fit six pack ab
- Bright blue or blue-green eyes
- A nice smile
- Hair on the a guy’s head that I can run my hand through
- A night of card or board games with friends
I just saw the movie and read all three books . . . I’m reading book 4 Grey by EL James. I need to see the second movie. . . DaMn. Christian Grey. . .
It has opened me up creative wise. . . yay!
2016 was a very challenging year. I felt really stuck and trapped this year, so I really didn’t feel I accomplished that much. I mean I didn’t even finish a book: writing or reading. However I have learned a lot about myself.
My writing accomplishments link here. . . https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2016/12/30/what-happened-in-2016/
Things I accomplished in 2016
- I am working more on a day schedule. Eh, I know, but maybe I can figure out where to get more writing and editing in.
- I have gone to the doctor myself.
- I have gone to therapy by myself.
- I feel I have more energy.
Things I have learned in 2016
- I loved flavored coffee. (Mocha, coconut, caramel vanilla, and Chocolate raspberry are my favorite.)
- My cat will look all over the house when I am gone.
- I miss my cat very much.
- Therapy really works as long as you are open and honest with the therapist and yourself.
- I like cats sometimes better than people.
- I would be a good vet assistant or care-giver.
- I have less anxiety when I am busy.
- I live and deal better when I am on my own.
- I can do chores better when I am by myself (at my own time and doing it my own way.)
- I’m sorry, but I am not a baby or kid person. (I rather have a fur-baby that purrs.)
- I have learned I hate to be controlled or told what to do. I do NOT deal with authority well.
- Distance is just a number when love is involved. (still makes me sad my “wolfie” is not here.)
- I secretly like to fold towels and peel potatoes.
- I do not like being treated like a 15 year old who needs a babysitter.
- Not driving really limits me. (But I am terrified of getting in an accident again.)
I am finally starting to feel like myself again. I feel like I am getting my own voice back.
Since mid November: I have been taking therapy. I have needed therapy for years and finally had a break down big enough that everyone agreed I needed help.
It took a break down for it to happen. Break down
My therapy has been helping, and the fact that I am on my own has helped.
I do not deal with someone over my head.
I hate when someone tells me what to do.
I like doing my own thing.
I hate feeling like I am judged when I don’t agree on something.
I HATE FEELING like a kid. I am an adult damn it!
Did I say I am glad I am on my own?
I love Chocolate.
- Any kind of Chocolate ice cream.
- Dark Forest Cake (Chocolate fudge and cherries)
- Chocolate milk
- Hot Chocolate
And the list could go on. . .
I usually will not past chocolate up. And if I do pass it up, those around me know I am not feeling well.
Chocolate helps my anxiety and depression sometimes.
My head makes every problem seem bigger than it is.
What happens when I do this. . .
- Problems seem impossible to solve.
- People seem like I do not deserve them or that they can’t handle me.
- I just get overwhelmed.
- I get a nosebleed, I think I have some crazy disease. I research it like crazy.
- I heard someone yelling, I instantly think it’s my fault, even when I did nothing wrong.
- I did something wrong by accident, but I instantly think it’s the end of the world or I am going to get kicked out.
I feel I am always on my toes.
Why does it to that?
- Maybe it’s because my vivid imagination works over time.
- Maybe it’s because I want an excuse to freak out.
- Maybe I am just too stressed already between my anxiety and depression.
I am a people-pleaser. I will put others need ahead of my own. I am trying to learn to ask for help.
- I want everyone to be happy, and I wish I could make it that way.
- I could be upset, and yet I will still help others.
- I will put back my own items at store, so others can get their items.
- I constant ask people how they are even if it irks them.
- I try to make people laugh.
- I know what it feels like to be sad, lost, scared, lonely, and depressed. . . And I wish that no one has to feel those feelings.