Things in My basket for a bad day
- Self care basket
- Chocolate brownies or cake
- Coffee with flavored creamers
- Dial shower gel (I love the feel and smell.)
- Color pens
- A book with a good twist
- Movies: comedies and chick flicks
- My tablet with my personal play list (music)
I’m writing Short Stories.
I put my feelings in each one. These are flash fiction but very personal. In the last few year my heart and soul shattered, each of these pieces are my a piece of shattered heart and soul.
I hope to find myself and piece myself together.
I’m posting them on my Short Story blog. . .
Rebekah Quinne Short Stories
Between PTSD and depression, I have not been happy.
I’ve tried sims, cooking and the rest of my content list. . .
1. Listening to music
2. Comfortably writing for hours
3. Soda pop
6. Getting out or dinning out
7. Talking to friends
9. Watching funny TV
10. Going to the movies
I just can’t get or find happiness. Why?
Tom got me into so many things vampires, ghost, Paganism, and new age. His book shelf was full of these catorgies.
I love how we used to read together.
We both studied and celebrated Paganism and exploring the dark spiritual realm.
I laugh because I know he will still haunt me. (He celebrated his birthdays for weeks, not days.)
I’m talking about my ex Tom. He was my longest relationship so far. It is hard to get him out of my head . . . he passed away from cancer January 13, 2017. (Saturday will be his anniversary of his death.)
So starting today, I’m going to highlight a different thing about him until Saturday and I will write out his funeral the way he would have wanted it.
(I find it funny that I told myself I was going to give myself until December 31st, 2017 and move on. He and I both know I am trying, but when someone lives you for 8 years of your life, they make an impact. )
Why don’t people listen to me when I say they can’t handle me?
I have depression and anxiety, and there are times I cannot deal with life. I need to go into my Sim games, my art, my walking, or most of my fictional writing. It is a process for me to come back to me. I’m usually a very positive, perky person, but over the years, life has worn me down.
I need positive people. I need someone who will encourage me, to keep my spirits up.
I do not need someone who complains about everything in life. I do not need someone so toxic that even the sun shine is bitch. I met someone like this. . . and tried to be friends. He never ask me about me, just complained about everything from work to his place to food. He even tried to joke about his complains, thinking he was being cute. A complaint is a complaint whether you whine, snap, bitch, or laugh about it. I couldn’t take it, and said whatever. (That was my depression talking, but I realize I couldn’t help him, and he was pulling me down. He made me feel insecure of who I was, and I had to save myself.)
I did feel bad he had no friends, but now I know why.
Then he said he was done, but I’m not going to fight back. I know is going to complain about me. I have my own problems. However I hope down the road, he find someone special and string who makes his complaints fade away. (Even though I’m hurt, I still hope he finds happiness. That is just who I am.)
Things I want to accomplish in 2018
- I want tto write more my writing blog
- I need to figure out and fix my medical issues
- I want to exercise more
- I want a boyfriend who gets me
- I want to help my mom and brother get a better place
I want 2018 to be way better than 2017.
I want to be healthy, happy, and hopeful.