Birthday

 My birthday went better than I thought. We had a nice dinner and a really nice shopping spree. I truly wasn’t expecting it. . .

I got. . . 

• A diary
• Colored pens
• This tablet
• Night shirt
• Robe
• Nail polish 
• Scarf and gloves
• Bath soap
• Dress
• My folding table desk
• My led light
• Calendar
• Hair dye

I really did make out. I appreciate everything John did. He made me brownies and got me rocky road ice cream. I had a really good birthday and weekend. 

My bday . . . Why bother?

My birthday is Wednesday and I know it sounds like a bad lifetime movie, but after the year I had, I wanted a boyfriend for my birthday. 

However I met a guy just before Halloween, and it was nice and exciting at first. . . 

 But then I realize he was not the same guy. . . It was like he split personality. . .  Fun Tigger, which as time went on I rarely saw and wanted to complaining Eeyore. I have my own issues of depression, anxiety, and pstd which I’ve been holding back because I been trying to help him, but whatever I say rarely matters, because once he stops complaining over one thing, he’ll easily find another. 

We agreed to just be friends. I have this feeling his next thing he’ll complain on is my birthday. He was the one who promised me to take me and such. . . I never asked for it. 

I’m just not looking forward to my birthday and it sucks. 

I mean a nice dinner but with a complaining Eeyore, SIGH. 

Who I really am.

• ​I am a writer.

I know I have said this before, but I can make a seven course meal, clean the entire house, be on 4 hours of sleep, pay all of the bills, go shopping, and if I do not write something, I feel my day is unproductive. 

I know a good meal, nice, and a clean place, feels good, but without writing, I just do not feel accomplished anything at all. (Http://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com)

• I am a foodie.

I love food. (Yes, I am a bigger lady, and I am watching my weight for health. However I will not deny a new or fun food experience. )

 I enjoy making food, cooking, baking, and going out. (When I got out, I usually try to order something, I usually I will not make at home.)

• I am always learning.

I’m always researching for my writing. I’ve learned from life experience as well. 

I enjoy reading and finding out more about all kinds of things.

• I am a bear. (Or a bulldog whatever is cuter.)

I am a very determined person. The loyal person. The type of person who would do whatever I had to.

 I may be sweet or cranky doing it, it depends on how people treat me. 

Being on best behavior

When first dating, I was always told you in need to bring your best foot forward and be on your best behavior. 

1. No burping on purpose. (Mouth closed and always say “Excuse me.”)
2. I have to hold my farts. (It really hurts to hold it back. It makes the stomach upset. I try to get to the bathroom to release gas, but the whole damn thing is embarrassing.)
3. No garlic or onion breath. (Always have gum or mints or candy )
4. Don’t eat out of plate in yesterdays clothes with mismatched socks. (You know you have done it or a variation . Lol)
5. Watch how much you cuss or yell at the tv with bad sports calls. (I was raised with brothers who enjoyed sports.
6. Be polite (9 times out 10, I am polite) 
7. No being moody or b*itchy (it is hard to hold back PMS if they are jerk.)
8. Watch my weirdness and creativity (It can scare off “normal” people.) 
9. Need to shave all of the right spots. (It feels nice, but is a lot of work.)
10. Dress up. (I know that guys want me to dress up, but it is not me. Unless you have a extremely nice place to take me, then there is no point in me dressing up.)

I am not sure if there is a guy worth all of this energy. I mean most of my best behavior isn’t really me. 

I am honest and can be a rough on the edges, but I am best damn loyal girlfriend you’ll ever have. 

What I would like right now (2:45pm)

I would love to cuddling on the couch with my guy. We’re watching netflix.  He kisses my cheek and neck while whispering sweet things . . . 

• “You are the prettiest woman I know. “
• “You are so soft.”
• ” Do you know how much you mean to me?”
• “We can get through anything together”

What I want right now (3am)

I want to be with my dream guy who is giddy over me and is snuggling in bed, I’m the small spoon. He has his arms around me and everything is alright. 

What I want. . . (with a guy)