Tag: fun

2017 death, men, meh. 

It has been a trying year.

 I think I’ve had more bad days and blah days than nice days. 

I’ve lost more people and been more rejected this year than all of my life. 

I’m not sure why or how I keep doing it. 

With the winter coming, I will need as much mental help as I can get. . .

I claim now 2018 . . . Better than 2017. 

My Current Soundtrack

My Current Soundtrack.

These songs mean something to me at the moment.

  1. “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks or “Crazy Bitch” by Buck Cherry (For my many mood swings)
  2. “Counting Stars” By One Republic (I am still hoping for my dreams.)
  3. “Unwell” By Matchbox 20 (Self-explanatory)
  4. “Demons” By Imagine Dragon (Fighting my temptation and depression in monster and demon form)
  5. “Monster” by Imagine Dragons and “Monster” by Rhainna (I’m either fighting the monsters or hanging with them.)
  6. “I’ll Be there” (Free Willy) by Michael Jackson (The world expects me to be a super hero.)
  7. “Infected” by Repo! Genetic Opera (I feel like my sinuses and health kick my ass)
  8. “S&M” by Beyonce (I’m a dominant, sensual Mistress.)
  9. “Things I wouldn’t Say” by Avril Lavgine (If you knew me, why would I have to say them.)
  10. “Freak The Freak out” by Victorious (I’m always freaking out nothing)
  11. “Take a Hint” by Victorious (Too many guys just do not get it, I am not interested. Do you match my blog, if not then why bother?)
  12. “Weird” By Hanson (I never seek normal).
  13. “Desperado” by The Eagles (I love singing this songs, and sometimes I think I will ended up alone.)

 

Honorable mentions

  1. “Complicated” Avril Lavgine
  2. “The Thunder Rolls” Garth Brooks
  3. “Still Haven’t Found what I’m Looking For” by U2
  4. “Beautiful” By Christina Aguilera
  5. “Zombie” By The Cranberries
  6. “Created a Monster” By B.o.B.
  7. “Titanium” by

 

Music is divided to me in different moods.

 

Love Songs

  1. “Just as You Are” by Bruno Mars
  2. “Haven’t Met You Yet” by Michael Buble
  3. “Dream of Me” by Kirsten Dunst
  4. “Love Song” The Wedding Singer by Adam Sandler
  5. “Say You Won’t let me go” James Arthur
  6. “A Thousand Years” Christina Perri
  7. “Let Her go” Passenger
  8. “Collide” Howie day
  9. “Never Let Go” Hanson
  10. “Dance with me Tonight” by Olly Murs

 

Happy or Encouraging Songs

  1. “Titantium”
  2. “This Time Around” by Hanson
  3. “Shake it Off” Taylor Swift
  4. “Wake Me Up” by Avicii
  5. “Happy” by
  6. “I Like to Move It” by
  7. “Cha Cha Slide” by Casper
  8. “Paralyzer” by Finger Eleven
  9. “Rock Star” Nickelback
  10. “Shine in a Bag” By Gorillaz Or “Pocket of Sunshine” by Natasha Bedingfield

Inspiration Songs

  1. “Cups” (Pitch Perfect) by Anna
  2. “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons
  3. “Drift Away” by Bob Seger
  4. “You’ve got a Friend” James Taylor
  5. “I’ll be There” (Free Willy) by Michael Jackson
  6. “Imagine” by Mercy Me
  7. “I’m Sensitive” “Life Uncommon,” or “Angel” by Jewel
  8. “Need” by Jonathan Jackson
  9. “You Rise Me Up”by Josh Gorban
  10. “Shameless” by Garth Brooks or Billy Joel

Sad Songs

  1. “Angel” Sarah McLachlan
  2. “Without You” Mariah Carey
  3. “The Rose” By Bett Mittler
  4. “Desperado” The Eagles
  5. “Chasing Cars” Snow Patrol
  6. “My Heart Will Go On” Céline Dion
  7. “I don’t want to miss a thing” Aerosmith
  8. “Bridge of Trouble Waters” Simon and Garfunkel

Angry Songs

  1. “Bad Things” by Wednesday 13
  2. “Fuck the World” By ICP
  3. “Down with the Sickness” By Disturbed
  4. “Don’t Get Mad, get Even” By Aerosmith
  5. “Enter Sandman” By Metallica
  6. “Zombie” By Cranberries
  7. “Crazy Bitch” Buck Cherry
  8. “Fuck the Pain Away” Peaches
  9. 2w

 

 

 

My Favorite Celebrities

My Current Favorite Male Celebrities

 

  1. Jamie Dornan                                                             (Actor/Model)
  2. Marcel Vigneron                (TV Chef)
  3. James O’Halloran                (price is right model)
  4. Gabriel Mann                (director, actor)
  5. Jonathan Brandis (director, actor, writer, RIP)
  6. Taylor Hanson (Musician, actor)
  7. Zak Bagans (Ghost Adventures host)
  8. Robin Williams (Actor, comedian, RIP)
  9. Nicolas Cage (Actor, producer)
  10. Kevin Love (Basketball player)

 

Honorable Mentions

  1. Jensen Ackles (Actor, director, musician)
  2. Jared Palacki (Actor)
  3. Ryan Gosling (Actor, musician)
  4. Neil Patrick Harris (Actor, musician)
  5. Paul Walker (Actor, RIP)
  6. Health Ledger (Actor, RIP)
  7. Jeese Spencer (actor)
  8. Nev Schulman (Catfish host)
  9. Wayne Brandy (Host, actor, musician)
  10. The Rock (WWE wrestler, actor)
  11. Michael Simon (host,   American Iron chef)
  12. Hugh Laurie (Actor, musician)
  13. Jack Black (Actor, musician)
  14. Stephen King (Author, actor)
  15. Tom Hanks (producer, actor)

Just because they are not on this list, there are a many male celebrities I would star struck with if I met them.

 

My Current favorite Female celebrities.

 

I am more drawn to men, so that is why this list is shorter. Hollywood makes women seek so picky, b*tchy and fake to me. The ones that make the list seem very real to me.

  1. Kat Dennings (Actress)
  2. Alex Guarnaschelli (Host, American Iron Chef)
  3. Anne Rice (Author)
  4. Kate Winslet (Actress)
  5. Rachel Ray (Host, chef)
  6. L. James (Author)
  7. Emma Stone (Actress, Musician)
  8. Kari Byron (Sciencist, Co Host Myth Busters)
  9. Katy Perry (Musicians)
  10. Emily VanCamp (Actress)

 

Honorable mentions

  1. Cat Cora (American Iron Chef)
  2. Kirsten Dunst (Model/Actress)
  3. Taylor Swift (Musician)
  4. Carla (Host, chef)
  5. Shannon Woodard (Actress)
  6. Angelina Jolie (Actress, producer)

2017 things I want. . .

It’s been ten years and I have noticed a lot of thing have changed in who I am and what I want.

This is my list from 2007

 

2007 in THINGS I HAVE WANTED TO DO (INNOCENT AND GUILTY):

  • Have my own place.
  • Have my own car. (Note: Paid and manage by me. Not a hand me down.)

(How can I have my own car when I freak out behind the wheel?)

  • Have a “rainy day” stash of money
  • Buy something I can wear that’s designer

(Really? I’ve never gone after something designer. In fact, I cannot stand dressing up and heels.)

  • Have sex outside

(I have a list on my naughty blog. I really do not like outside, especially with my sinuses.)

  • Wake up to a guy kissing me
  • Have a guy spoil me with nothing sexual in return
  • Be romanced (Candle light, bath, flowers dancing etc.)
  • Tickle and cuddle with a guy without sexual tension
  • Continued to be romanced

(I never believed that I deserved to be romanced and swept off my feet, but with Tom had a few really nice moments.)

  • Write another stage play
  • Finish at least 3 out of 10 of my scripts within the year
  • Publish at least one novel under my own

(11 to 13, I’m still working on my writing, but I have learned that it is a process.)

  • Publish a book of poetry It’s now smash words
  • Manage a credit card for one year and keep good credit
  • Fine a guy who fits my personality (someone who can put up with me) (RIP Tom)
  • Have someone throw me a surprise party (preferably on my Birthday) (Worst wish ever)
  • Go to Disney World or Land with my boyfriend (before marriage or kids of my own, so I can still act like a kid.)
  • Get the guts to sky dive
  • Sky dive

(19 & 20 I’m not sure what I was thinking when making this list, but not common sense.)

  • Have a friendship with a guy and have it turn into a relationship without it ruining the friendship
  • Get my scripts put on the “big screen”
  • Have a guy who looks attractive like me for me
  • Learn patience
  • Learn independence

(23 & 24 I’ve learned I need people in my life and I am not a patient person and I do not want to be. Why would I ask for that?)

  • To bake for my boyfriend (For Health reasons.)
  • To go on birth control
  • Not to have kids until I’m at least 29
  • Find a guy my age for an activity partner: Movies, music, darts, bowling, putt-putt
  • To score at least 200 in a game of bowling

(Now that is a laugh. I have bowled probably like 5 times in the last ten years, unless you count wii bowling and I have over 200 with wii bowling.)

  • To find a guy who will take care of me when I’m sick
  • Learn self-control
  • Learn self-discipline
  • Learn self-motivation
  • Be financially secure

(32 to 35 I just want to be able to be constant with my writing and eventually make a profit with my written artwork.)

 

2017 What I want now

 

  1. No kids, I want at least two cats
  2. Poly house
  3. To make money on my writings
  4. To finish and publish my writings
  5. To have my own agent and editor
  6. To have my own place with a nice kitchen and my own office
  7. I want to be able t dine out at least once a week
  8. Once I get a guy, I want a constant date per week.
  9. Indoor picnic
  10. More cuddling
  11. Breakfast in bed
  12. More massages
  13. More hours of soaking in the tub
  14. To know my mom and brother are taken care of
  15. Constant encouragement

 

What I would like right now (2:45pm)

I would love to cuddling on the couch with my guy. We’re watching netflix.  He kisses my cheek and neck while whispering sweet things . . . 

  • “You are the prettiest woman I know. “
  • “You are so soft.”
  • ” Do you know how much you mean to me?”
  • “We can get through anything together”

Anxiety be gone

As I have mention, I’ve been interested in a new guy. 

My anxiety has been on high. 

I haven’t been sleeping right and when I do I’ve been having nightmares. (Smothering men, locking them in cages, and even smothering so much I find them dead. I need  to stop the over thinking about this.)

I was on my therapy site 7cups.com and it helped put my anxiety into perspective.  I need to start thing thinking like this. .  .

“Will this matter a year from now? How about 5 years from now?” 

If it will, then why I am worrying about it now?

If it won’t, then why I am worrying about it now?

Big question why the **** am I worrying?

Worrying will not help.