Birthday

 My birthday went better than I thought. We had a nice dinner and a really nice shopping spree. I truly wasn’t expecting it. . .

I got. . . 

• A diary
• Colored pens
• This tablet
• Night shirt
• Robe
• Nail polish 
• Scarf and gloves
• Bath soap
• Dress
• My folding table desk
• My led light
• Calendar
• Hair dye

I really did make out. I appreciate everything John did. He made me brownies and got me rocky road ice cream. I had a really good birthday and weekend. 

Who I really am.

• ​I am a writer.

I know I have said this before, but I can make a seven course meal, clean the entire house, be on 4 hours of sleep, pay all of the bills, go shopping, and if I do not write something, I feel my day is unproductive. 

I know a good meal, nice, and a clean place, feels good, but without writing, I just do not feel accomplished anything at all. (Http://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com)

• I am a foodie.

I love food. (Yes, I am a bigger lady, and I am watching my weight for health. However I will not deny a new or fun food experience. )

 I enjoy making food, cooking, baking, and going out. (When I got out, I usually try to order something, I usually I will not make at home.)

• I am always learning.

I’m always researching for my writing. I’ve learned from life experience as well. 

I enjoy reading and finding out more about all kinds of things.

• I am a bear. (Or a bulldog whatever is cuter.)

I am a very determined person. The loyal person. The type of person who would do whatever I had to.

 I may be sweet or cranky doing it, it depends on how people treat me. 

Being on best behavior

When first dating, I was always told you in need to bring your best foot forward and be on your best behavior. 

1. No burping on purpose. (Mouth closed and always say “Excuse me.”)
2. I have to hold my farts. (It really hurts to hold it back. It makes the stomach upset. I try to get to the bathroom to release gas, but the whole damn thing is embarrassing.)
3. No garlic or onion breath. (Always have gum or mints or candy )
4. Don’t eat out of plate in yesterdays clothes with mismatched socks. (You know you have done it or a variation . Lol)
5. Watch how much you cuss or yell at the tv with bad sports calls. (I was raised with brothers who enjoyed sports.
6. Be polite (9 times out 10, I am polite) 
7. No being moody or b*itchy (it is hard to hold back PMS if they are jerk.)
8. Watch my weirdness and creativity (It can scare off “normal” people.) 
9. Need to shave all of the right spots. (It feels nice, but is a lot of work.)
10. Dress up. (I know that guys want me to dress up, but it is not me. Unless you have a extremely nice place to take me, then there is no point in me dressing up.)

I am not sure if there is a guy worth all of this energy. I mean most of my best behavior isn’t really me. 

I am honest and can be a rough on the edges, but I am best damn loyal girlfriend you’ll ever have. 

Confession 21: I’m An Adult who. . .

I am adult who doesn’t like babies or kids.

I’ve learned that I am not a baby person! Truth is I’m not even a kid person anymore. I’m afraid of hunting small babies. I freak out when someone wants me to hold them. I also cannot puke or spit up. I am horrified of dropping them and hurting their soft spot.  I was good with toddlers until they would run from me and split their head on the end table. (Happened to me twice)

I have health issues and due to my mental & emotional issues, I have zero patience for whinny, kids or crying babies!  In fact, I have anxiety & depression, do you really want that around your impressible young minds??

I used to be good with kids. I used to be able to get most kids to do whatever I wanted; with just my imagination and story time.  I could change a diaper with my eye closed. (I was tired enough that I may have.)
However my ex-stepmother pushed my younger brothers on me. (I love them, and I will go to hell and back for them, even now at 21 and 17.)  At 12, I was cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of brothers, and homework plus volleyball and basketball. I can’t remember when I slept.
Then in college I would take care of my 5 year old brother and my 1 year old brother between work and school. (Again I don’t remember seeping much!)
Then during church, I kept getting pushed into doing nursery duty for my ex-stepmother and then her friends’ shifts. I went to church once for three month and never saw a service.
I got burnt out of babies and kids! All of my 20’s I said I didn’t want kids. Then I tried to major in education in college to appease my dad. (He wanted me to have a stable job. I fell in love with music I move writing (opposite of stable right?)) That major last about two semesters before the college kept changing their classes and telling me the classes I took didn’t count. I have an Associates of Arts.

With my last ex (we were together 8 years) I had many times where my body thought it was pregnant. I even had believed I had a miscarriage, and I still have horrible nightmares over what I had passed in the bathroom. (I will keep you readers from the gross details.)

I had a doctor tell me I would be a high risk pregnancy because of my immune system and my hormonal imbalances. I am 90% sure I will never had a kid. And I am okay with that! I want fur-babies that meow and purr. If I had good money, I would have a cat sanctuary.

Between being burnt out and my health issues, now can others see where I do not want to be around babies and kids?

I like sleeping in. I like having ice cream for dinner or have dinner at 9pm. I like watching movies with adult scenes. I like to cuss, damn-it! I like sex with someone I am in a committed relationship with. I love uninterrupted time to write!

My problem is I currently live with family, and they just got a baby. (Sighs)