I get inspiration, motivation, and energy at different times of the day.
Currently its been between the hours of 1am to 7am which is usually dark.
The last two days I’ve been fighting migraines because the glare of the tablet light on my eyes while I write.
Most people do not understand that migraines put me down. They make me nauseated and my eyes cannot work.
My eyes were so bad yesterday that I could feel my fever in my eyes.
I need to get my health in some kind of order.
I’m writing Short Stories.
I put my feelings in each one. These are flash fiction but very personal. In the last few year my heart and soul shattered, each of these pieces are my a piece of shattered heart and soul.
I hope to find myself and piece myself together.
I’m posting them on my Short Story blog. . .
Rebekah Quinne Short Stories
Between PTSD and depression, I have not been happy.
I’ve tried sims, cooking and the rest of my content list. . .
1. Listening to music
2. Comfortably writing for hours
3. Soda pop
6. Getting out or dinning out
7. Talking to friends
9. Watching funny TV
10. Going to the movies
I just can’t get or find happiness. Why?
Ironic this writing assignment is over a week late to deadline (anniversary of Toms death January 13th.) The irony is that it was usually Tom nagging me, pushing me to finish my writing on time. Another ironic thing is Interview with a Vampire is playing in the background. Tom’s favorite movie.
Tom’s Dream Funeral
I lived with Tom for 8 years. . . I like to believe you get to know someone really well in 8 years.
As lovely and simple as the real funeral was . . . it was not what Tom would have wanted. He told first of all, he wanted to be biodiamonds. He wanted to be made into jewelry for those closest to him. I would have requested a ring for my middle finger on right hand. The right hand is my dominant and he taught me to say “fuck it” sometimes.
I think it would be in the woods with candles, latter’s and huge bonfire. We have a fake body in which we burn while celebrating him moving into a different realm. We drink, eat, listen to his favorite classic rock music. We sit around the fire and tell stories of him.
What I miss the most, I’ll never find anyone as passionate as he was. He bold, daring, loud, and rambunctious. There was rarely a dull moment with him. Whether it was him yelling at TV over wrestling or football or passionate reciting Lestat quotes from Anne Rice.
I also think I never got to appreciate the way he should have been. He taught me so much about love, hope, dreams, support, and passionate. I hope he knows he will always be remembered for his liveliness.
Tom got me into so many things vampires, ghost, Paganism, and new age. His book shelf was full of these catorgies.
I love how we used to read together.
We both studied and celebrated Paganism and exploring the dark spiritual realm.
Tom would get excited over whatever I made whether it was grilled cheese with tomato soup or super chocolate cake. He loved my desserts. . .
I made him a five layer cake for one birthday.
I made my own fontant.
This was the leftover Halloween candy cake.
My family recipe pineapple upside down cake.
Tom had many hobbies he was passionate about. . .
1. He always loved wrestling. Ever time I liked a wrestler, they ended up hurt. He liked how I would yell at the TV.
2. He loved video games. He played a lit skyrim and diablo.
3. He loved playing Dungeons and Dragons 3.5.
4. He also got me into football. We were Browns first. Then I went Saints and he was into Titans.
I have a secret, I usually take music from whoever I’m with. Tom grow up with classic rock growing up. He was so passionate about it he got me into liking most of it.
He even had long hair like a rocker.
He even had a leather jacket.
He loved Ozzy and Motley Crue
Tom had many hobbies one of them that he was really good at was photography. These are a few of my favorite pics.
I even used one for my books.
I laugh because I know he will still haunt me. (He celebrated his birthdays for weeks, not days.)
I’m talking about my ex Tom. He was my longest relationship so far. It is hard to get him out of my head . . . he passed away from cancer January 13, 2017. (Saturday will be his anniversary of his death.)
So starting today, I’m going to highlight a different thing about him until Saturday and I will write out his funeral the way he would have wanted it.
(I find it funny that I told myself I was going to give myself until December 31st, 2017 and move on. He and I both know I am trying, but when someone lives you for 8 years of your life, they make an impact. )